It's not hard, just difficult at times

helooo....i've been trying to locate connect the broadband services since forever, now this week only my cousin, Max found the best spot. On his bed! Since he is at school and ... i was about to write "Milan is asleep"...then i heard she squeaks. maybe, i'll continue later when she takes her after bath nap.

just wanted to let you all know that i'm still around just busy with the little princess.

shhh...she just decided to continue her sleep. gosh, raising an infant without Mr Husband and mom around is such a huge difficult task for me to handle. i have few issues to write about.

Breastfeeding

For goodness sake, i'm one of the 'not lactating' boobies mom. so not cool! i have to admit that i envy you, you and you moms out there that are able to BF your baby. i tried every single tips to stimulate the breastmilk. till today, i don't have enough supply to fully and exclusively BF Milan. I was somehow heartbroken whenever i mix her formula and read those "Susu Ibu Adalah Makanan Terbaik Untuk Bayi Anda" on the tin. Moms always want the best for their children and yet i can't provide that for my baby. And for that, i have people who condemn and people who support. i decided to just forget about those who condemn and compare about their 'forever lactating boobies' with my 'forever in drought season'. all i want to know is that i'm not alone. there are mommies out there had the same problem as mine. the closest being my aunt. luv u aunty for reaasuring me that IT'S OK and IT'S NORMAL.

PPD

I admit that i did experience the Post Partum Depression. Being left alone (particularly) with the baby has developed the baby blues in me. in the first few weeks i cried almost every evening or whenever Milan cried. The evil in me sometimes tells me to just leave the crying baby and go out of the room. However, i managed to comfort myself and get through it. Proudly, all by myself. and of course with some SMSes and calls from Mr Husband just to remind me that he loves me and i'm a great mom. and how he wishes that he could be where i am.

Immunisation

2 more days and Milan is due for her 2nd mths immunisation. The first month's, we went with my Mom. And me, so very chickened out get my mom to hold her when the nurse injected Milan. I'm so scared of needles! what more to look at my baby being injected with it.

Actually, i do have lots more to share but she is really awakes already and need to bathe her. and she loves bath time. she'll look at the red gayung, too bad mommy did not buy her the rubber duck, haha. mommy sings crappy bath time songs indeed.