Monday, December 20, 2010


I am just clueless on Sophie's sleeping pattern. I think she just 'hate' sleeping. She doesn't sleep during the day. Doesn't sleep as in not sleeping for more than 10mins. And now it's 4mins past midnight and her eyes are as bright as the morning sunshine.

When she cries, we'll nurse and nurse and nurse. A never ending cycle. Cry, nurse, sleep, cry, nurse, sleep and the cycle goes on and on. I don't bother looking at myself in the mirror for the time being. There's no point of doing so i guess. Eye bags and fuzzy hair, of course.

I'm feeling sleepy but not the little princess. Got to go.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Baby Blues

Oh, i am feeling exhausted.

Mom, sis and sis in law went out. And i am home with my two girls. Both need my attention. Sophie will only sleep when she is breastfeeding. She hates pacifier. Milan keeps on singing loudly that she wakes her sister up. Bukan calang2 lagu or nursery rhymes. "Love the way you lie" nyer chorus ok. sabar je lah...

Pendek kata, i am quite busy. There are times i had to cut through my conversation with the daddy when he called. Sometimes, i can't even pick up calls. My priority are my girls. Those phone calls can wait. I hope those people could understand. Just bear with me yah...

I feel like going out but i can't leave the girls. Especially Sophie. Lagi sebulan Papa datang...

Thursday, December 09, 2010

Just A Mom

Some say i'm a tough Mom being away from the husband. Beranak sendiri2. Well, i am not that tough though. There are times i feel very fragile. But those girls are my rock. And so does Papa. Though he is miles away, his undivided supports keep me going sober. Love them to bits!

Life is beautiful indeed :)

Tuesday, December 07, 2010

100% energy

Kakak is 23 months 'young' already and baby Sophie is 2weeks 1day today. And Mommy needs more energy. Single parenting is 100% about energy.

I really want to blog some more but i can't. Sophie is not the type of newborn that love to sleeps. She will only sleep if she is cuddled. I hardly find time to drink (thus affects the breastmilk flow too). This morning i was having breakfast while holding her on the other arms.

Kakak pulak makin nakal. She's a bully. She bites, pulls her cousin's hair.

Nevertheless, they are my precious treasure :)

Tuesday, November 30, 2010


She's a week old already :)

* i have something to share. About my motivation during the 'battle' in the labor room. I was picturing myself and my two girls taking a studio photoshoot for this Christmas!!! I'm so gonna make it happen. I know what to wear already and the girls tutu skirts are in progress...woohooo!!!

Sunday, November 28, 2010


I haven't apply for Sophie's birth certificate yet. Actually, i did went to JPN with my brother, Arthur yesterday. At first, pegi secara 'gamble' je since tak sure JPN buka ke tak. My other brother, Julian told us JPN is opened on Saturday as well. Just when we reached there, the main door was closed and there was another door half opened. Arthur went up and then called me, telling that they are opened.

On the day that we were discharged from MCMC, as usual mmg banyak paperwork kena settle (just like any other places). After paying all the bills, a nurse came with Sophie's baby card etc. And there was one 'extra' form to be filled in for the birth certificate. "Surat Sumpah" something...i asked "is this a new rule?". And "yes" i was told. It was actually for baby born in private hospital. The rule was meant to certify that the baby is of your own. Sebab kan banyak kes jual bayi sekarang ni. So, kenalah angkat sumpah bagai.

Back to the JPN. I was so excited to see that the counter was not crowded and again trying my best luck to just register without filling in the "surat sumpah" form. Manalah tau boleh lepas ke kan. Even the nurses at the Tudan Polyclinic told me to just ignore the form first. Sbb semua org tak sure about it. When at the counter, the officer checked my form and sekali notice the surat sumpah was missing, Then, i was told to buy a RM10 duty stamp and get the "surat sumpah" completed at either the magistrate court or from Pesuruhjaya Sumpah at the resident office. Court and resident office pulak tutup semalam. Tak settle lah lagi birth cert Sophie. We'll see tomorrow.

Next entry i plan to write about confinement and breastfeeding (of which i didnt manage to exclusively did again...).

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

The Birth Stories

While Sophie is asleep and big sister, Milan is being cranky because she is having a nappy rash. And i have been 'prohibited' from carrying her. So, here i am lepaking on the bed. No sitting for too long for me. Kena sound terus.So, kena berbaring-baringan.

I'll try to describe on Sophie's birth stories.

The Beginning
As Sophie was overdue for almost a week, Dr Lee advised that i go for an induce. To avoid any complications and me on the other hand can't stand the swollen ankles. Appointment was set on the 22 Nov. At first i wanted to choose the date. Either 20.11 or 21.11 (Daddy's choice; his birthday is on 21.06). But then i still putting so much hope to deliver my baby without being induced.

Early 22.11 morning around 7.50am, my bro Arthur, mak n bapak accompanied me to the clinic. Mom in law waited there already. VE was done and Dr Lee said i have bigger chance of delivering the baby the normal way, i.e: tak yah caesar ke apa. I didn't know that i was then 2cm dilated. I was then ushered to the maternity ward at 3rd floor. Changed clothes and straight away on pitocin drip at 8.40am. This time, only the drip without the insertion of pill (like Milan's case).

The Contractions
At around 9am i start to feel the mild contractions. Which was bearable. That was when i was facebooking and what not lah kan. Then, at 10am Dr Lee came, VE again and tried to break my water bag. However, he didn't managed to do it since the placenta membrane was too thin already and Sophie's head was too near to the edge. Meaning, if he proceeds to break the waterbag, he could hurt Sophie's head. So, i had to wait for the waterbag to break on its own. At around 11.50am, the contractions became too intense and closer, 2 minutes apart. Again Dr Lee came and did another VE, 6cm dilated. I was "hee...hee..huu"ing already. Too much to take, to me lah kan. Then, at around 12.50pm, i just couldn't open my eyes. My right hand was squeezing my mom's hand and the other hand was grabbing the bed rail. Another VE done, and 6cm still!!! like?!!

The Battle Field
Then, at around 1.30pm, i was already 8cm dilated and being pushed away to the labour room. But, i know i'm not gonna have the baby soon. I don't even have the urge to push. So, lepaklah dlm labour room tu. Around 2.50pm, Dr Lee came and tried to have me to push the baby, i was then too tired. Banyak kali sangat push but Sophie's head was still so high. But the contraction pain was too strong that i thought it might break my pelvic bones apart. I was tossing and turning on the labour bed. Berpeluh2...Dr Lee give me a half an hour break. Just relax he said. Homaigod, i don't know how to 'just relax' at the stage. My breathing was uncontrollable. And it came across my mind that some mothers describe delivering their 2nd baby as "azab" than their first. And i was one of these mothers. Just when i had the urge to push, i tried to push. And yet, nothing was happening. Until, up to one point, i was so frustrated and started to cry. And soon after that, i became a drama mama. Begging for an emergency c-sect. But Dr Lee refused to submit to my silly command, saying that i have great chance of having the baby soon. Then, at 3.40pm, he came again, and this time he really want me to try my very best. "You can't be tired. I know you can do it" he said. Together with 2 nurses, 2 nursing students, Dr Lee really worked hard in assisting me to bring Sophie out. As i pushed, the 2 nurses pushed my belly from top, the 2 nursing students hold my head and shoulder and Dr Lee did what he does best. At some point, i was out of breath. But i took a quick breath and continue to push again. As i feel Sophie's head was half way out, i suddenly have the strength to push harder and out came the head. Another quick breath and long hard push, her shoulder was out. And then, i can hear Sophie's voice. What a great relief!! And soon after that, Dr Lee told me "see, u can do it. Luckily i tak c-sect you. Sayang if u nak c-sect just now".

It's Over
I almost fell asleep after i have checked on Sophie. So very much look like the bigger sister. Only Sophie hair is thicker and darker. Then, Dr Lee continued with the 'ground work'. Taking out the placenta, stitching (the 'best' part) and cleaning the inside. Well, i was too tired to care. I was busy posing with Sophie. Anyway, only little 'damage' was done. Stitching pun tak banyak. Tak macam Milan kena 3rd degree tear kan. Then, Sophie was brought down to the nursery for cleaning and i was pushed back to my room. I thought i was too tired and will fall asleep straight away. Well, i was busy talking with my mom and my mom in law. Then my brothers came. Chit chatting again. Sampai ke sudah tak tido. With Sophie keeps on crying for feeding every single hour.

Oh yeah, in case some of you might wonder. How was Milan coping? On the day itself, i left the house too early, and she was still sleeping. I changed her nappy first then give her milk. Right after i was done changing the nappy, she was awake. So i had to pretend sleeping beside her. Then just when i wanted to make a move, she opened her eyes and gave me the sweetest smile "Mommy..", then get back to sleep. The whole day she was under the good hands of my sister. She did asked "where's Mommy?", and she was told "Mommy works". And she lived with that idea until the next afternoon when i see her. And to entertain her, my sister and cousins brought her to KFC, playgrounds etc. And nobody dares to say "NO" to her. Fearing she might break out and cry and start to look for Mommy.

The first thing she said when she saw me, was "there's Mommy". Then, "Mommy wears socks", hehe. She touched my "not so flat yet" belly few times. Even her cousin asked me "why is your belly still so big? How many baby actually you have?". Eee...laser sungguh mulut budak pompuan kecik tu! LOL!

Well, that's how my experience bringing Sophie to the world. Thanked God for all the great wonders. And now, my duty as "ibu tinggal" has begun and there are two girls to deal with. I can say i am on alert mode, around the clock. Till then...

Monday, November 22, 2010

Princess Sophie

I have safely delivered Sophie today, 22.11.2010 at 3.51pm. A 3kgs and 55cm baby girl.

Will update more with the whole delivery process soon. She's here again for feeding :)

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Nest No More

I am done with nesting.

This time i don't really have much thing to do. Most probably i was busy entertaining Milan all the time. And doing house chores. Kalau tengah mandi, mesti nak scrub satu bathroom, cuci toilet sekali. Lantai pun kalau boleh nak mop 3 times a day. And again, macam dengan Milan...suka sangat nak baking. Only because this time my ankles can't tolerate standing for too long. I used to bake kek lapis when i was carrying Milan. This time, i baked cheesecake. Chocolate cheesecake and pumpkin cheesecake. Kebetulan my mom came from kampung bawak pumpkin. Sayang jugak sebab nak buat lauk, agak kurang 'laku'. So, buatlah pumpkin cheesecake.

One more day to go then i'll be officially a mom of two. My swollen ankles are not so swollen anymore. And as at today, there's still no sign (bloody show) yet. Kena kuatkan semangat untuk induction this Monday. For the last few days i have this itchiness. Starting from my neck, then arms, buttocks...when scratched it will become hives. I did some readings on it and found cholestasis and PUPP. Well, since i'll be induced on Monday, i don't think i need to worry so much. All i did were applying some steroid based cream and take piriton before going to bed. I hope i am making the right decision :)

Tomorrow kena check hospital bags lagi sekali. In case ada yang tertinggal. Hopefully by Tuesday morning, we'll be home with little Tigger...hardly wait!

Friday, November 19, 2010

If favorable

I didn't know about the term 'favorable' being used in the cervic opening. I was requesting for an induce tomorrow or Sunday. Then the doc said, it can be done provided the cervic is 'favorable' i.e ready to be 'opened'. His main concern was if the cervic is not favorable, i can end up being caesared.

And he doesn't want to wait any longer as it might put the baby at risk. After 41 weeks, there's risk that the placenta doesn't functions as it should be. I.e: not providing any nutrients or oxygen for the baby. Then, the baby might grow bigger and makes the labor process more difficult.

Well, we'll see how things go on Monday. Thanks for your concerns. Friends have been asking if the baby arrives yet. Even Hazel called yesterday :). 

Thursday, November 18, 2010


Tak bersalin lagi :)

I have appointment to induce labor next Monday, 22/11/10.

Hope everything will be fine. Please pray for me and my little one.

Will update as soon as i am home with my girls.


Friday, November 12, 2010

When Oh When...

As at now, Tigger is still wiggling in my belly. And she is showing no sign of coming out pretty soon. Went to meet Dr Lee on Monday. Tigger is around +- 2.8kgs and Mommy's 62kgs. The first thing the Doc asked was if i wanted to be induced since i have reach my 38 weeks. And i told him i want to wait until i have no more reason to wait any longer. I.e: up to 41 weeks. According to him, since i have history of overdue pregnancy, there's a chance that this pregnancy will also overdue. If it is overdue, then the last date would be 24th Nov. And maybe i can't wait until 24th, since i'm having bad swollen ankles. Very swollen. I barely walk towards the evening. Literally, i have to drag my feet and walk. Yes, it is that swollen and it feels heavy.

Till then darlings, am not feeling comfortable sitting down for too long. And standing will just makes my feet grow.

Sunday, November 07, 2010

Yesterday and Today

Just got back from a friend's wedding at Dewan Suarah Miri. Macam biasa, kalau wedding kawan2 mestila ala2 mini gathering. Ada Suzina, Wedy, Maz, Ija, Khaty, Nurhidayah and son, Siti, Habibah and Juji. Semua nak berborak. Suara plak takleh nak kontrol. Sampaikan tersasul bila musik background stop, tetiba ada suara yg ter'menonjol'. Kena pulak duduk sebelah Maz and Ija. Geng sekelas dulu. Memanglah kan...buat lawak tak senonoh. But, thanks to them sebab tolong ambikkan makanan. Diaorg kesian tgk mommy yang kaki bengkak dgn Milan yg nak didukung je. Masa nak turun tingkat bawah, aunty Wedy yg tolong dukung. Thanks dear...macam tu la keadaan ibu tinggal tapi ada ramai kawan2 yang prihatin.

Esok pg check up 38weeks. Tadi masa attend wedding, kawan2 cakap my perut tak 'turun' lagi. Tp, hidung dah 'kembang'. Alahai, akan ter'overdue' lagi kah nanti? Kalau overdue and everything's fine, confirmlah kena induce lagi. Lemah longlai terus bila fikir pasal induce. Mak kata, kalau have to be induced lagi, request for caeser je la. Oh, caeser was never my choice unless atas sebab2 keselamatan both baby and mommy. Kira kalau emergency, terpaksalah kan.

Yesterday, went to a cousin house in Taman Tunku. Wah, masuk je rumah dia. Terus terpersona. Sebab, her interior design is exactly like what i want my house to be. Tapi, angan2 je la. Then, pegi merayau2 ke rumah baru my brother plak. Also around that area. Actually, memang berhasrat nak beli satu rumah kat Miri. Ye lah, asal balik je kena menumpang rumah my brothers. Anak2 diaorg pun dah besar2. Takdelah diaorg komplen ke apa, just that kalau ada rumah sendiri lagi seronoklah. Bila fikir pasal tu, terus rasa nak kerja balik. Kena aktifkan balik fund dlm EPF tu.

Then, around senja macam tu, visit my cousin nyer house. Around that area jugak. She's married to an Indian. This cousin is from my bapak's side. They speak  Berawan. To which, i have to shamelessly admit i tak faham. Sikit2 bolehlah, but sikit as in very limited words. So, we conversed in malay  instead. Dia pun gerun tengok my belly besar sangat..huhu. I guess the size of my belly explains my very swollen ankles and growing feet. Tadi attend wedding pun pakai selipar je. Tu je yang muat. Selipar comel la tapi. Bukan selipar getah jepun tu ye..

Haih, yang flu ni lagi satu hal. tak habis2. Blocked nose ni yang merisaukan ni. Nanti nak breathe in, breathe out masa nak push macamana kan?

Ok. tu je la kot :)

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Minus One

I've been wanting to bake chocolate cheesecake. Not that i'm craving to eat one. I don't eat chocolate. But i feel bored of doing nothing, and to me, baking is the best thing to do to kill my spare time. I've got all the ingredients except butter. Seriously, i thought i bought one stick already. Couldn't find it in the fridge though. Tundalah baking plan, see lah maybe next week.

Haven't pack my hospital bags yet. I need to find the bags first. Shopping bags banyaklah dekat dapur tu. Tak kan nak pakai luggage bags size XL lak gi hospital kan.

Okies, running out of ideas already... :). Till then

Friday, October 29, 2010

Don't Hit It, Just Yet

Don't hit the panic button just yet...

My family members are so very kan cheong la i tell you. It's not that i don't like it but i do feel rimas sometimes when people around me can't remain calm. My aunts are so worried that we are staying alone in the house while others go to work. Takut i terberanak when nobody's in the house. My aunt has offered to come and stay in her place this week until i deliver. Mak called yesterday, to check whether i'm still ok. She is coming this Sunday after my 2nd cousin whose due date was on 24.10 has delivered baby girl yesterday's morning.

My due date is on the 17.11. I'll be grateful if Tigger decides to come out early. Of which, i doubt it. Though she is my 2nd baby. Anyway, it is not like the baby is just gonna pop out as and when you have your first contraction. So, there's no need to panic, really.

But to all of them, their main concern is Milan. Since she is still can't be away from me for too long. Anyways, like my aunts who has experience with clingy child while having another baby...their words of encouragement is GOD knows the best when the time comes. :)

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

22months and 36weeks

Just a quick update, i'm so 'busy' nesting. Tigger at her 36weeks now. Just finished a round of clothes washing today. There are 2 more baskets to go. And i have to wash one a day as it rains every morning for 2 days already. Hanging the newborn's clothes takes me 2 times longer than hanging adult's clothing. Nak kelip kan those tiny booties and mittens pun cukup lama.

Tigger is around 2.6kgs already. Mommy's at 61kgs. I really can't wait to meet her. Same goes to Papa. Papa cakap "nak tgk rupa". Last week i had swollen ankles, very swollen. Now it's gone. Frequent braxton hicks. Done with the kids necessities. Diapers, milk stock for Milan and etc. Hospital bags should be ready by early next week.

Kakak Milan is already 22mos. Masters the shapes and now learning on weather. Her learning progress is quite slow here because she is more interested on playing with her cousins. Her current favourite songs are Bad Romance (Lady Gaga), Baby (ke apa nama lagu by JB tu) and classic Burung Kakak Tua. Here's how it goes, Milan's version.

"Borong kakak tua, xxxxxxxxx...di jendela,
Nenen sudah tua
Ghighinya tenggal dua
Letchun..letchun..letchun..o lalalala... (3x)
Borong kakak tua"

Ok, that's about it. She is requesting for "lady gaga song...o..o..oo..." already.

Friday, October 15, 2010

The Daughters

Frankly speaking, i have nothing interesting to blog about. My everyday live revolves around me, myself, and my two daughters.

Daughter no.1 has become so amusing day by day. This morning, she woke up and ask for "nen su" (nenen susu or milk). So, i took my sweet time to tie my hair before slowly got up of the bed. By that time, she was already waited at the door. And out of the sudden, she screamed "MOMMYYYY...NOOOO, no mommy, no sleep". And she moved her pointing finger. She must have thought that i forgot about her requested for milk and thought that i wanted to go back to sleep. What a sunshine she brings into my life :) .

Meanwhile, daughter no.2 is moving happily inside. Putting pressure onto mommy's pelvic bone already. Somehow it feels awesome. It makes me wanting to see her as soon as possible. I can't really describe how it feels though.

** Dear friends, i do read ur blog entries but somehow my lazy bum refrains me from dropping comments...xoxo

Wednesday, October 13, 2010


Honestly, i can't wait to deliver baby Tigger. I know the feeling when you miss 'the-so-very-pregnant' moment, but right now i just feel so tired. So heavy. Luckily Milan seems to take things better and becomes more independent. She seldom asks to be carried anymore. Only, once in a while she wants "hug Mommy". Hug kaki Mommy pun jadilah, if Mommy tgh standing doing something. Seriously pity her for not enjoying her "wholly & exclusively" moment for long. So sorry dear, Mommy is getting older and can't afford to wait any longer.

I have not done any shopping yet for Tigger. Since Milan's newborn clothes are still good. And there are some hands down clothes from the cousins too. Only need to wash them first. Will do that on the first week of November. Together with the hospital bags. This time, there will be 3 bags to bring. Mommy's, Milan's and Tigger's. Milan's will be inclusive of toys and sweets...hehe. For distractions when Mommy is away in the labor room.

Those are the plans for the BEFORE event. DURING the event i need to concentrate on Tigger and let my family members handle Milan. And there are so much things to do for the AFTER the event. E.g: Settling the bills, applying for Tigger's birth certificate. Papa will only be here mid-December. So, merasalah Mommy jadi ibu tinggal :P

**macam bosannya entry ni, lol!

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Mommy and the girls

Had my 34weeks check up done yesterday. But before that went to see Milan's paed to check on the 'ulcer-like lump' in her mouth. The paed then referred her to the surgical specialist, Dr Matthew. Berderau darah mommy ok, dengar Dr Matthew mentioned about 'MINOR SURGERY' to remove the lump. But he recommended that we shall wait in case the lump might just disappears. It seems that it doesn't bothers her anyway. I mean, it is not painful or anything. Even Dr Matthew said it is not harmful at all. Dr Chen (the paed) lagilah kelakar. He said, sometimes you can just tie a string around the lump and pull it out. Yes, just like that! Then i told Dr Matthew about it, he said no. We need to have a proper surgical procedure. Just a small incision. What worries me is that, she might have difficulties taking her meals after that surgery. She has just slightly gaining weight to 12kgs. Her last weigh was 10.8kgs. Dengan Mommy yang dah nak beranak ni. So, i'm trying to figure out when is the best time to go for the surgery/ Before or after Dedek's arrival. As for now, i was thinking of AFTER. Since i'll be a lot more 'fit' than i am now.

Here's how the lump looks like. The one that i circled.

As for Dedek, she is all fine. Moving actively. But not as 'naughty' as Milan. She is barely weighs 2kgs now. Dr Lee said she is not that big. Beriya je Mommy risau baby besar kan, hehe. My mom was worried about her size but since the Dr said she is healthy, i'm fine. Nanti dah keluar, we try to 'besarkan' her. Takde lah i control makan ke apa. I think i am just too tired. Kan Milan is so clingy. Nasib baik these few days she is a lil bit ok. But seriously i think my baby bump is so big.

Mommy pulak, this week weighs 60kgs. Expected lah tu, just like my previous pregnancy. Except that this time, no swollen ankles (maybe not yet), no cramps and no backbone pain. Every pregnancy is different, so they say. Selalu sangat berangan nak ada that 'colostrum leaking' tu. Tapi, takde pulak. Ye lah, kan semangat nak fully BF baby this time kan. If can la...nanti put too much hope pun susah jugak sebab in my case with Milan i find it was not that easy to cope with.

My apologies for not updating this blog. I was at my other brother's place and had to rely on the broadband. The service is not so good. So, memudarkan semangat nak ber'internet'. Till then...xoxo

Monday, September 27, 2010

32 weeks

Just got back from Dr Lee's clinic. Baik sangat Dr Lee tu. Everytime i leave his clinic, i'll be smiling. This time i asked my SIL's sister to accompany us. I need Jen to hold her while the doc does the ultrasound. Milan sits at the baby car seat, front passenger seat. Luckily she was ok. Watching her Ipod all the way. Just that maybe she was a lil bit sleepy on the way back. She became restless and "want to go Mommy".

At 32weeks+:
* Mommy weighs at 59kgs (mamposlah!!!)
* Tigger weighs at 1.6kgs
* All is well
* She's at a head-down position already.

Dr Lee asked if the daddy is here or still in Bahrain. When i told him that the daddy will only comes in December, he said "you have all the supports u needed here so, no need to worry". Terus menambahkan semangat nak beranak :)

Sunday, September 26, 2010

21 Mos

The big sister is 21 months old today.

In addition to the 20 months milestone, she now can;

* sing the ABC song, Twinkle2 Little Star, 10 little finger
* recognizes shapes (triangle, square, rectangle, circle, star, heart, oval but crescent is a 'moon' :) )
* can tell her name (Milan) and age (2). Mommy's name is now correct as Caroline.
* still very much a fussy eater
* will cry everytime she sees anyone leaving the house and she is staying behind
* loves lollipop Chupa Chup (cream flavoured)
*describes notes (money) as "too much" --> prolly she heard we say "how much" before taking out money. Coins as 'coins'
* masters in describing colours and numbers
* she becomes my pulse-resistance when shopping because she will say "no mommy, no" whenever i 'belek2' anything in the shop. With hand gestures sumore (pointing finger movements)
* so manja with mommy. tido pun kena "hug mommy".

Be a good sister ok Milan. Dedek is coming soon, and Mommy needs you to really co-operate. Luv u.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Salt and Pepper

Marriage is something sacred provided both parties have each other's respect and trust.

I was having a chat with a friend the other day. On how her husband treated her differently lately. With the birth of their daughter, the husband seems to pull away. Moody all the time. Accusing her  for having an affair. She doesn't go out with her friends anymore. She'll go straight home from work.  The husband somehow turned into someone jealous. There was once, the husband hit her when he was drunk. And the baby almost fell from her arms. I was speechless. I can feel the tense, but i am nobody to judge anybody. I could only listen and gave some words of comfort. She was up to the extend that she wants to be divorced and ignores the fact that they were just married for 3 years.

That is the salt and pepper of being married. Some husbands stops their wives from wearing makeups or dressing up. I find that ridiculous. Your wife needs to feel good about herself in order to feel good around you. And you just have to trust her for that.

Anyhow, to all the single ladies out there, do not think that i scare you with this story. It is just a true story for all of us to know. 

** Ada jugak partner yang takda langsung deria jealous ni. Tak kisah lah bini / awek buat apa. Too much of trusts? Ke mmg jenis yang tak kisah langsung. Sometimes perempuan ni nak lah jugak rasa di'kisah'kan. Kalau tak kisah, rasa macam everybody else je treatment nya, nothing special. Laki sapa lah tu?

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Ana Fening

Am having a bad flu. 
Milan is super clingy.
I don't have enough sleep.
65 more days to go till the "D" day.
Missing him.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Ola again...

I was still around, just that my lazy bum2 supersedes everything else. It is either i have too much stories to tell that i don't know where to begin with or i have no idea what to write.

Milan has never been so clingy. I just can't be out of her sight for a mere second. She'll go "Mommy where?". Nak masuk toilet pun sekali ok. When i'm in the kitchen she'll squeeze herself in between my legs. I thought that she won't be so clingy when she meets her cousins, but i was very wrong. sangat penat nak dukung her all the time. She even look for me when she is sleeping. And she will only stop when she can hug me. Honestly, i am very worried about her when the "D" day comes.

Tomorrow i plan to go for Tigger's check up. Can't wait for the "D" day. Everything is too tiring for me right now.

Ok, that's about it. I'm tired...

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Papa Works

Just reached home from KLIA. Sending off Papa back to Bahrain and Babai on business trip to Nairobi.

Milan was still asleep when we reached KLIA. Only woke her up when we arrived at the international boarding gate. Then she hugged on Papa tightly. Uwaaaa...Mommy cannot tahan. Uko took her away, luckily she didn't cry. Mommy? Of course lah cry tak hingat. Carik tisu pulak tetiba tak jumpa dlm handbag. Belasah lah...lap dengan Milan's blue handkerchief. Huhu...

Take care Papa...Mommy, Milan and Dedek will see you in December...


Saturday, September 04, 2010

20 Mos

I was quite busy since we reached KL. Busy as in fulfilling the cravings, i must say. Sangatlah busy makan sana sini.

Then, last night i remembered that i haven't write on Milan's 20 mos.

  • Can count up to 20
  • Read alphabets
  • Can tell colours
  • Knows Papa's (Dennis) name and Mommy's as lynden
  • Can tell her own name (Milan) and her age (2)
  • she hates it when she hears someone sings, she will pinch or hit you
  • likes to imitates people's speech (trying very hard to make her not to)
  • she is quite unfriendly towards guys
  • weighs at only 10.8kgs (50% percentile in her age range)
  • has a strong togetherness spirit (or as Papa put it: semangat kekiputan).E.g: if 5 people travel in a car, all 5 must go out of the car at any time. Otherwise, she will cry her heart out.
  • loves to give hugs (then again only to ladies). She hugs her book, Mimzy, pillow, Dedek (ie: mu belly), chair...and even HERSELF (meaning, buat aksi macam berpeluk tubuh tu)

    can't think of anything else. The rest she is just like any other kids her age, i guess.

    Tuesday, August 31, 2010


    Tiba2 saya rasa sangat sedih dan rasa nak menangis :'(

    Sebenarnya tengah menangis. Do you ever feel that you are so lonely even though you are surrounded by so many people? Itulah yang saya rasa sekarang ni. I used to feel that way when i miss him. Ever since i have a child, she is my little sweetheart that i don't mind having just her with me. But when she is asleep, that feeling somehow slowly creeps and pokes me inside.

    Adalah ayat2 yang telah membuatkan saya terasa sikit hari ni. Tapi atas nasihat seorang kawan baik, saya taknak tulis kat sini. Kadang2 saya penat nak jaga hati orang. Saya penat nak 'care' pasal orang. Penat sangat.

    So Far..

    Pejam celik, pejam celik...we've been in KL for 4 days already. Tapi macam banyaknya dah aktiviti kitorg buat.

    Mostly, of course makan2. Almost 2/3 of the cravings list were completed. 

    On 28.8, celebrated BFF's belated birthday, Yett. Sian dia kena tunggu sampai Msia baru buat celebration. Kebetulan that was the next weekend after her birthday. Dahla, haritu we all sampai lambat. Sebab i was cooking lunch at home dulu. Sebab lunch at home at not at the birthday party? Ada tempoyak, huhu...can't resist :). Sesampai di Subang Parade, ramainya orang. Dah biasa dgn shopping mall di Bahrain yang lengang, terus rasa mcm semput, pening and sesak nafas tgk ramai sgt org. Berlarian nak belikan birthday girl's present. Seronok sangat dapat jumpa everyone. Haruslah gelak macam nak gila bila dah jumpa they all. Esp, dgn Sophia. 

    *cake for the birthday girl:
    (slices of Secret Recipe's: 
    Chocolate Indulgence, Marshmallow cheesecake, High Fibre cheesecake,
    Oreo cheesecake and Durian Durian)

    Serius seronok, rasa tak puas berborak. Once in a while kena layan Milan pulak. Nasib baik aunty2 Milan semua cam rajin nak layan si kecik tu. Bolehlah Mommy curi2 gosip borak sekali sekala. Masa nak balik, sekali tengok we all ada banyak paper bags sebab the aunties bagi Milan banyak presents. Thank You...xoxo.

    Then, last night had a berbuka puasa session with Mama Rais' and family. Seronok jugak, lama dah tak jumpa in person kan. The two kiddos apa lagi. Dua2 pun takde kawan kat rumah kan. Rais so cute, pandai nak tarik2 tangan Milan ajak main. Semua toys dia angkut bagi Milan. Balik rumah, Milan terus tido, penat sangatlah tu.

    This Saturday, ada jemputan ke rumah Iena's pulak. Can't wait...

    Saturday, August 28, 2010

    Hello KL

    We have arrived in KL yesterday, at almost 10am. Ingatkan Milan tido throughout the flight, and she didn't. She was busy playing. Well, better than crying lah kan. The Amarnanth went to the Bahrain airport to send us off. 

    The flight itself was kind of tiring for me. Being pregnant and traveling on a 8-hrs flight is so uncomfortable. After few hours, i noticed my feet were swollen. Same experience i had when i was with Milan. Tak kira lah, angkat2 kaki ke, jalan2 dlm flight is still happening.

    Upon arrival, Uko and aunty Babra were waiting for us at the arrival hall. Babai was in the car. Milan ok jer, takde lah nak malu2 or takut2 meeting them all. From the airport, Babai took us for lunch in a chinese foodcourt in SS15, Subang Jaya. Apalagi, haruslah meng'order' kuey teow kerang kan! Ngan barley ais...huhu. Tetiba kami anak beranak macam tak tahan panas Malaysia, semua hidung berair. Padahal panas di Bahrain lagi hebat. Milan's face was so pink. Dah elok2 lunch dkt SS15 tu, apa lagi haruslah menapau cendol 'bawah pokok' tu. Tamak kan, tapau 1 pack RM5 then another pack of RM3. Rasanya ada lagi dlm fridge tu. Tah, tetiba rasa mcm dah tak sedap sangat. Macam rasa masin sikit...entahlah. Haritu kemain lagi masuk list cravings kan.

    Balik rumah, rest. Tido. Malamnya, Babai ajak makan sushi dekat Restoran Jepun Sogo. Level 6, Sogo. Thanks Babai. A birthday treat for the 3 of us he said. Since we didn't celebrate our birthday back home. Dulu masa balik when pregnant with Milan, the belated bday celebration was in Chiang Mai. Tak tau nak komen the food dkt sana macam mana. Sbb i mmg suka makan Japanese food. So, to me mana2 pun sedap je la kan. I makan Unagi Kabayaki set then Matcha ice-cream.


    Milan is having jet lag, i guess. Slept at 10pm last night then woke up at 3am!!! And wanted to play...i let her play by herself. She was singing her version of "Twinkle2 Little Star" then doing her counting. Then, main2 with the curtain sbb ada Mickey Mouse. She only went back to sleep at 5am. Now, it is almost noon, and both of them (with the daddy) are still sleeping.

    Ok, today ada appointment with the girls @ Subang Parade. Nasib baik i lalu McD SS15 tu semalam kan..kalau tak, macam mana nak melepak dkt tempat yang tak beratap and dinding runtuh..HAHA!!

    Thursday, August 26, 2010

    Last Call

    Flight malam ni berlepas from BAH pukul 8.30pm (Bah time). An approximately 8hrs flight. Normally, when i am about to travel somewhere, i would have a sleepless night the night before. But not last night. Guess, i must've been tired. Milan je yang tak tidur2 until 1.30am. Itu pun, i had to 'rampas' her Ipod to stop her from watching S.A.Oso. Mengamuk lah sikit dia, but i had to do what i had to do lah jugak kan. I was already asleep, boleh dia nak cuit2...and whisper "mommy, mommy" then looked her her father and still whispering "mommy, papa sleep?". Though she is so close to her Papa, whenever she wants to do something naughty, my 'weapon' would be "Papa angry". Then, she will stop doing whatever she is doing.

    Had dinner with the Amarnanth family last night. Bought some foods from Lulu (a hypermarket).
    Tak sempat nak lepak lama2 pun dkt rumah diaorg sbb nak sambung packing. Beratnya our luggage bags. We have 2 large ones (both 20kgs each), 1 small one and a box of Milan's toys. Normal lah kan, of course akan ada soalan dari sang lelaki "just what are you bringing, berat sangat ni?". My answer (as always): EVERYTHING!!!I'm a hoarder remember?

    Bangun pagi ni terus rasa nervous. Hopefully Milan will behave well during the flight. Or, better still sleep all the way. Balik KL from here, takde jet lag sangat. Because of the overnight flight. Sampai2 Malaysia dah pagi. So, it is like you are starting a new day after 7-8hours of sleep. First thing i did this morning was to make sure i recharge her Ipod battery and the speaker. Hopefully it will last throughout the flight/

    So, KL...see you tomorrow.

    Wednesday, August 25, 2010


    Thx Mama Rais :)

    1) Apa nama blog dan kenapa letak nama tu?
    Entahlah...main bantai je actually.

    2) Jelaskan kenapa dan bagaimana anda boleh dapat idea nak letak nama URL blog anda.
    Sebab tertengok gambar my girl nyer fingers and the dad's tgh strum guitar.
    3) Bila blog anda mula beroperasi?
    Blogspot ni since Feb 2006. Before that friendster blog, since 2003.

    4) Siapa follower pertama anda?
    Sapa ek? tak ingatlah :)

    5) Ucapan kepada si pemberi award.
    Thanks Mama Rais.

    6) Tag 9 orang yang patut terima award ini.     
    Sapa2 lah rajin main tag ni. 

    Counting Mommy Hair

    Mommy doesn't have so much hair either!!! Only 20, the least :)

    *if you are wondering why i keep on uploading Milan's videos both in here and in FB. Here's why. I want to 'document' all her pelatness actions before the sister comes. I'm sure I'll be busy to do that with 2 daughters to handle.

    Tuesday, August 24, 2010

    Thank You AMH

    Had my last check up at Ame.rican Miss.ion Hos.pi.tal yesterday. This time with Dr Su.san Qiu.jano (a Philipino). A very nice and friendly OB. Tigger is doing ok. Macam the kakak also, moves a lot. Sampaikan the Dr Susan susah nak capture her image. She even kicked the scanning device tu. Weighs at 1.1kgs already. I guess she is slightly heavier than Milan. The scan parameter couldn't accommodates her full body picture anymore. Dr Susan confirmed the gender as girl (100% she said).

    As for me i gained friggin 2.3kgs this month!!!Again the daddy teased me about pushing a large baby. I told him, when i'm in pain, i don't give a d@mn about the baby size anymore. All i want is the baby to be out of me a.s.a.p.

    AMH provided me with all the documents i needed. Copies of all the medical reports, blood tests, traveling letter etc. Dr Susan did asked if i have a normal delivery with Milan. I told her "yes, but induced at 41 weeks"...She wished me well with Tigger and hope that i will have a normal delivery (natural kind of normal --> means toksah induce bagai lah). The nurses pun bid farewell, and wished me a safe delivery. Baguslah diaorg tu.

    Sempatlah jugak tanya soalan bengong kan...but, to me better tanya than make assumption kan? See the pic below. It is a copy of my anomaly scan result. Noticed the word 'breech'? I was so worried and asked the sister nurse about it. She said "it's ok. The baby is rotating. She will only on her final position at 36weeks". Fuhh...lega.

    Pastu pegi GulfAir office at 6.30pm to settle on the traveling certificate, sah2 lah tutup. Kan waktu Iftar. Then terus ke Bahrain Mall, beli brg sikit...makan dinner sikit. ColdStone pun tutup jugak. Takpela, takde rezeki.

    Monday, August 23, 2010

    For Aunty Tiq with ♥

    To Do and Think

    * Warning: EMO post!

    Kesian tau the daddy...selalu sangat rasa sedih semenjak we ol dah nak balik ni. Asyik dengar luahan perasaan dia makes me rasa terus hilang semangat nak balik. Last night i couldn't help it, i cried just to think about it. He is so sad that we are going home and that he'll be staying alone here. Though he'll be coming back again in December. He has thiw worries of Milan will not remember him by then. Waaa... *nanges*. I assured him that Milan will always remember her Papa. For the past one month, he has been calling us every afternoon just to talk to his daughter. To train Milan talking on the phone with him. He insisted that we will need to have a video call session at least once a week, so that Milan will remember how Papa looks like.

    I don't know how i will react when sending Papa to the airport on his flight back here. Milan will surely wants to follow him. And if she cries, i'll cry too. The best thing i can do is telling her that Papa goes to work. Tapi, mesti dia pun hairan kan sebab nanti lamanya Papa tak balik2 from work. Everyday, she will wait at the door as soon as she heard Papa opens the door. Then, wanted to be carried straight away.

    Waaa...sedih la. I can't continue anymore...hardly see the screen tsk...tskk...tskkkk....


    Ok, kita sambung lagi (ada plak kes mcm ni kan?). Sebab tajuk kata 'To Do'...tadi terEMO sangat takleh nak continue.

    Petang ni ada final appointment dgn OB kat sini. Nak kena settle travelling documents and segala mak nenek pregnancy related document for Dr Lee kat Malaysia nanti. Lepas tu, kalau sempat terus pegi GulfAir nyer office, isi travelling form.

    Then, Papa ajak pegi shopping brg2 for his family. Nak singgah ColdStone jugak. Nanti dah balik Msia, tetiba teringin nak ColdStone, maner nak carik kan? Ke dah ada kat KL? Kalau ada, ok lah.

    Balik rumah, sambung packing lagi. Hantar barang naik rumah atas. Besok kena ambik baju dkt tailor. Haritu hantar nak alter. 'Kurang inci' lah katakan...hehe.

    Ok, itu je..


    Tagged by Mama Harith&Najah . Thanks :)

    Soalan :

    1) Jika sekarang anda ada RM 250. Anda nak buat apa?
     Kalau sekarang ni i will simpan je dulu. sebab tak sampai malaysia lagi, hehe. kalau tak, nak belikan my dad frame spec dia. semalam dia minta belikan.

    2) Cikgu kegemaran semasa tingkatan 3 dan kenapa?
    Cikgu Teh Lean Aik. Sebab saya suka pegi bengkel waktu subjek Kemahiran Hidup (seronok bila ada aktiviti di luar classroom). Pastu, cikgu ni selalu bagi saya pinjam comic Archie & Veronica :)

    3) Subjek kegemaran semasa di Universiti?
    Hotel Management. Sebab senang nak relate kan dgn real life. Ekonomi pun suka.

    4) Perkara yang anda tak suka tentang sekolah?

    Kalau zaman saya dulu, tak suka bila ada exam matematik, sebab saya adalah 'kureng' dlm subjek math ni. In general, saya tak suka bila student sekarang ni sangat samseng. Nak lawan cikgu je.

    5) Apa yang anda risau?
    Wah...banyak sangat benda yang nak dirisaukan ni. First thing first. Risaukan pasal Milan dlm flight malam hari Khamis ni. Hopefully dia ok. Banyak lagi lah. Kalau nak letak semua, boleh pitam.,,hehe.

    Ok..sila tag 3 orang lain.

    Nak tag depa ni la:

    1. Endun
    2. Tiq
    3. Wedy
    ** sapa2 yang rajin main tag ni, buatlah sekali.

    Saturday, August 21, 2010

    My Pride and My Joy

    Remember this ?

    Well, to be fair...we had a proper photoshoot for Tigger last night. At 26weeks of pregnancy.

    * a coloured version of the one i have as the blog header picture

    credits to the daddy as photographer tak bertauliah. bolehlah kan?

    Good To Go

    To whom it may concern:

    Me and mommy are ready to go :P. Really can't wait!

    Friday, August 20, 2010

    How Do They Do It?

    *pic courtesy of google

    Look at her!!! P.a.z V.e.g.a going home after delivering her baby on 13.8. With heels, gorgeous dress, nice hair and lipstick! Maybe because they are celebrities, hence the dressing up. When you are a celebrity, paparazzies are everywhere. So basically you need to look good all the time.

    I remembered when i was out from the labor room, my mom insisted me to cover my head and put on sweater immediately. But i do have a rule of going-home attire. Kain batik is a big NO- NO. And so does the attire for clinic visits. I will either wear long skirt with sweater blouse or long dress. And wear bandana instead of 'anak tudung'. I'm so against the idea of covering my head. For the sake of not hearing all the pot-pet2 from my mom, bandana is the next best thing that i could think of. This time, i'm so gonna buy a flowery one.

    Wednesday, August 18, 2010

    Maternity Wear (Up for Grab)

    These are the maternity wears that i want to let go (actual image). All size M (US).

    Mari...mari...harga boleh runding.

    Tuesday, August 17, 2010



    And so the goods are safely in my hands. Well, they are all maternity wears. To my disappointment, they are all OVERSIZED  or TOO BIG for me...sangatlah keciwa!

    Makin banyaklah collections pakaian online yang dibeli nak dijual semula ni...haih :|. Nantilah bila 'kedai' dah siap cat, baru boleh war2kan... :P


    I just can't help myself to blog about it. Nothing big but just to write it down as a memory. Ye, saya tahu sangat orang lain punya anak lagi hebat. I'm just an impressed mom.

    The thing is Milan will call any species of monkey as MONKEY. But today, she said "APE" for gorillas...

    Told ya, nothing big...i was just too impressed myself.

    Wat A Day!

    I love to start my day early...How's yours so far?

    Milan woke up early today. Normally she wakes up at almost 11am. But today, she woke up at 7am. I was in the kitchen, preparing the daddy's breakfast. Then, after 'bye2'ing Papa off to work, we went to the shop to buy fish.

    Then, i found out...there's nothing else to do. I started cooking lunch!!! What's for lunch? Fish curry for me, fried fish for the daddy, kangkung belacan and vege soup for Milan. And by the time i finished cooking, i looked at the was just 10.30am!!! Took shower with Milan and then here i am updating the blog with my 2nd entry for the day. Milan is taking her afternoon nap.

    ** the parcel for the online purchasing has arrived!!!hoho...and i'm ready for the "Black Parade" on 28th! *wink2*

    My Beautiful Monster

    "She's a monster (she's a monster)
    Beautiful monster (beautiful monster)
    Beautiful monster (beautiful monster yeah)
    But I don't mind (I don't mind)
    And I need her (and I need her)
    Said I need her (said I need her)
    Beautiful monster (whooah)
    But I don't mind (I don't mind I don't I don't mind)
    No I don't mind"

    *part of Beautiful Monster by NeYo

    Sunday, August 15, 2010


    Was online chatting with my SIL, Kak Jes few minutes ago. She said that i'm 'rounder' this pregnancy than i was with Milan. baru masuk 6mos and i haven't reach Miri yet. Where the fabs and foods collide!!! haha...Tapi, mmg i rasa i lagi berat this time round. The daddy teased me saying "u sure u can 'fight' alone in the delivery room? i think Dedek is bigger than Milan". This time i hope to be stronger and shall avoid myself from calling the nurses all the time. Ye lah, last time first experience kan. Tunggu punya tunggu the "bowel pressure". I had coached pushing. So this time, we shall wait for the "rasa nak terb3r@k".

    Then we (with SIL) were talking about or weight and stuff. She too is having problem in reducing her baby fat. And she is worried that she'll put on some more weight when i reach home. I kan suka 'feed' the people in the house.

    My SIL ni lah yang come out with a theory that i'm carrying a baby boy. Sebab i told her i like to eat bubur kacang hijau, then there was once i was craving for "biskut makmur". And now, my favourite is eggplant. How do these related to a baby boy? They are round. Round and balls...

    Well, we shall see when the baby comes out, or maybe during the final scan. Baby stuff...i'm still buying all the unisex colored.

    Saturday, August 14, 2010


    This is our small "family" in Bahrain. We normally have makan2 gathering. Last night we were celebrating the August boys birthday (Fashni, Helmi and Johnny). Johnny is a Lun Bawang from Lawas. Coincidentally, we have mutual friend, Gwen.

    We wanted to stay longer last night (ye lah, balik rumah awal2 pun tak tau nak buat apa), but Milan threw up on herself and her Papa. So, tak bolehlah lepak dgn baju bau muntah.

    Say Mommy

    She was 19mos at the time i captured this. She missed out 11 and 13 though, LOL! And she likes to tease me by saying "say Mommy" in between the counting.

    * among other words she said here were:
    1. Papa sleep?
    2. Papa work?

    Thursday, August 12, 2010


    Homaigod...memang buruk lantak betul pregnant kali ni. Selera jin tanah betul.

    Baru dah habis lunch. Nasi goreng kampung and grilled salmon. Pastu, air bandung cincau. Then, the daddy keluar2 from kitchen bawa satu mangkuk. Dalam tu ada durian...hoh! Makan tu pulak, dalam 6 ulas...matilah! Lepas makan semua tu, dah tak larat nak cuci pinggan, boleh? Alasan lah sangat.

    Nak duduk tegak2 jap...perut ni pun dah boleh jadi meja letak laptop.

    Wednesday, August 11, 2010

    Cat Eyes

    Dimulakan dengan ucapan "Selamat Berpuasa untuk semua umat Muslim". Ok, dah boleh start.

    Sebenarnya tengah terbayang2 kan air mata kucing dekat Petaling Street tu!!! not likey lah like this. Dulu masa pregnanctkan Milan pun nak benda yang sama. Nasiblah my MIL rajin gi beli. Takpe, ada lagi  *kira jari jap..* lebih kurang 2 minggu!!!

    Pastu *jap la, tak habis lagi ni, dah minum mestilah nak makan*, nak kuih angkoo kaler merah, inti yellow bean kat SS2, PJ. Aku rasa lah kuih tu nama dia angkoo, korang google image je lah ek kalau nak tahu.


    Apa kes tajuk post macam tu pun tak tau.

    Dalam pukul 9pm tadi, i tengah cleaning up the kitchen. Tengok ada sikit lagi leftover nasi tengah hari tadi. Tanya the daddy, "u want fried rice tak? sikit je la tapi." He said, kalau sikit tak naklah. Not worth the effort katanya. Nak makan pun kena put on effort ek?

    So, i thought masak je la. Just a simple fried rice. Campur telur and ikan bilis. Pastu goreng telur mata. Aik, TERsedap lah pulak nasi goreng tu. Sorry, masuk bakul angkat sendiri :P. Pastu siap buat air bandung ais campur nata laici.

    Dah siap2 hias dgn timun bagai, offer the daddy lagi. Again, dia taknak. Tapi macam tak sedap pulak makan sorang, dahlah kekonon sedap kan. Makanlah separuh then bagi the daddy rasa. Itu pun dia suruh i habiskan je. I told him "tak naklah, tolongla habiskan". Habis jugak :)

     *Don't worry, I don't eat runny eggs during pregnancy.
    It is fully cooked.

    *Kempen recycle. Gelas tu asalnya adalah mayonis jar.

    *Rimasnya nak update blog dengan laptop yang MAHA slow ni. Apa masalah tah...grrrrrr

    Tuesday, August 10, 2010

    Random Pics bored and moody today. Mood swings! Need to cut my fingernails and yet i couldn't find the nail clipper. Terus hangin satu badan.

    Mari tengok cerpen bergambar:

    Dimulakan dengan gambar makanan ye;

    *Yummy durian. The second time we bought, sedap sangat.
    Takdela macam mengunyah nangka separuh masak.
    Lunak berkrim.
    Isi tebal, yummeh! 

    *The daddy pangil ni "nasi lemak kosong".
    Nanti nak masak for my family lah, try tengok diaorg suka tak.

    *Budak perempuan kecik yang tidur lambat dan bangun tengah hari

    *Teman sepermainan

    *Harap2 Tigger nanti rajin baca buku :)

    *It feels really good to be reading NST though few days outdated :P

    Monday, August 09, 2010


    It's just 9am and i really feel like eating lunch already. I've already had 2 'petite' sized popias for breakfast and still i feel like i've not been eating since last week. Over lah tu...haha. Arghhh... See the baby ticker up there, mentioning that she is collecting fat already. And i am one heck of a mommy who is so terrified of 'pushing' out one big baby. In my definition big is >3.2kgs. Ok, don't judge. I have my own reason. 2.9kgs caused me episiotomy + 3rd degree tear. Enough said.

    For the next 3 weeks, i need to plan for what to cook. Need to empty the refrigerator already. The plates and baking stuff are securely packed. Tinggal plates yg tuan rumah sediakan je. So, no more main baking-membaking after this. Started works around the kitchen at 10.30pm last night. Tah tiba2 je semangat. Dah masuk kotak etc, ada lagi sisa2 kerajinan, continued with scrubbing the cooking stove and sink. Swept and mopped the floor. I didn't realised that the time was 12.05am when i was done. Milan was still awake. The daddy off the lights in the living room, hoping that she will somehow fall asleep. will not sleep unless i tuck her to bed. After a quick shower, we both dozed off at almost 1am (or could be earlier, for me :) )

    Now i have started sleeping with my feets placed on pillows. If on my feet too long will hurt my ankles and calves. If things are gonna be the same as what i experienced when  carrying Milan, in the coming months until delivery i will have swollen hands and feet! Waaaa...sangat tak best. And no more lying on my back too.

    Think of A Name

    We are still searching for Tigger's name. Basically the criteria are quite simple:
    • First name: Confirmation name. I.e: catholic names / name of a saint
    • Second name: Common name. 
    • Last: Family name, i.e: Ruin (fixated). Spelling-wise..can't say much :)
    This time around, we agreed not to have more than 2 names for the child herself. Like her sister, Helena Zini Milan Ruin. Actually, she only has Helena Milan but somehow the daddy wanted to have Zini as well.

    ** Ya Endun, A.S tu mmg sedap sangat...but without confirmation name :)

    Sunday, August 08, 2010


    I promiseD not to shop anymore kan haritu? I even promiseD the daddy kata tak beli baju lagi dah lepas dah beli 'baju raya' the 2nd one. Part baju, memang dah tak beli dah. Tapi, tadi dah TERbeli another handbag/cross body. Yang murah2 je. Ini pun beli sebab dah lama nak beli crossbody medium size. I find it is difficult to carry a baby and at the same time carrying a shoulder bag. Asyik menggelongsor je bag tu. Why medium and not besar terus? Besar sangat pun buat sakit bahu jugak. I have experienced it with Milan. And i'll be moving places. Miri-Kuching-Marudi-kampung. Mcm2 mode of transportation ada. Flight, car and boat express. And there'll be 2 to handle. And the daddy won't be around to help. Milan pulak asyik nak Mommy je...

    Macam ni lah rupa crossbody tu. Ni yang small size (mine is medium) 
    *image courtesy of google

    Saturday, August 07, 2010

    Hari Ini

    Kan semalam dah janji nak letak gambar bingka labu tu. Nampak gaya, tak jadilah. Sebab.....bingka tu dah habis. Then, pagi tadi kelam kabut siap2 kan makanan, kemas kitchen etc. Siapkan anak lagi.

    Sedapnya makan nasi dagang tadi. Adalah timbul 'kekecohan' sekejap, pasal ikan tongkol. Persoalan nya:

    "Ikan tongkol dipanngil apa dalam bahasa inggeris?"

    Si tukang masak, Umi kata dia beli kingfish. Dah semua cakap..."mmm, patutlah rasa lain. ikan tongkol daging dia hitam". Si Hilda plak cakap tongkol in english is tuna. Saya diam je. Saya cuma tahu makan. Nasi dagang yang dihidangkan, nasi daganglah yang saya makan. Saya tambah 2 kali, hehe. Pasni nak makan lagi hasil 'tapauan' tadi.

    Seronok jugak harini, sebab selalunya weekend, kitaorang mmg tak buat apa2 or paling bagus pun pegi beli groceries. Tadi pegi rumah Mat Yie and Fadzilah dalam kol 9am, lepak2, makan2, borak2, sampailah pukul 2.30pm. The guys main guitar hero. The kids buat hal sendiri. Milan punya seronok jumpa Yamin (Yasmeen) and Umar sampai tak nak makan satu apa pun. Nap pun tak nak. The mommies yang terguling2 nak tido.

    ** Milan sangat 'mintak puji". Tiba2 tadi tengah2 main dgn small jelly containers aunty Fadzilah, she counted from one to fourteen!!! Mommy pun terkejut!

    Friday, August 06, 2010


    Yay! Bingka labu dah siap. Nampak macam 'ada gaya'...tapi rasa tak tau. Tunggu sejuk baru boleh potong. Tak jadi buat kuih 'lenggang' (ketayap) sebab palm sugar jual kat Rachanee semalam banyak sangat. Nanti membazir je beli. The daddy nak buat apa nanti dgn gula tu. Last2 beli tauhu, besok pagi bangun awal sikit...buat tauhu bakar. Nak habiskan kuah sambal rojak.

    Menu utama for tomorrow adalah nasi dagang ikan tongkol. Kata nya lah. Mengikut e-mail. Ingatkan nasi kerabu. Nak berangan dah nak makan solok lada.

    Besok kalau dah potong and rasa, i will blog about the bingka k.

    Thursday, August 05, 2010

    Ramadhan Kareem

    This weekend is gonna be the last weekend before the holy month of Ramadhan for the muslims.

    During Ramadhan, some tv channels like ShowMovies, FoxMovies etc will be off the channels. The radio won't be playing fancy songs. Shops are not opened except at night. The dates are ripened.

    Can't wait to go home....20 more days peeps!!!

    Ikan keli pojaan hatiku...

    Wednesday, August 04, 2010

    Reminiscing yet planning

    I was (in fact still am) reading an article on "The stages of labor" featured in Babycenter.

    Then, the whole thing come back to me. The small talks during the 2-4cm dilation. Then, the intense pain until the final stage. How the doctor, the midwife, the nurse and dear husband cheered when the baby's head was out. My doctor words before the intensive pushing "ok, let's have a good cheerleading team here"...always in my mind.

    I can't imagine how it will be with this 2nd one. Hubby will not be around, Mom might be busy with Milan. Maybe, just maybe (in case Milan wants nobody else but Mommy)...she will have to be in the hospital too when i deliver. Have to request for an extra bed, if she refuses to leave my side.

    Tuesday, August 03, 2010

    Breakfast Invitation

    Just got a call from Umi. She is inviting us to a breakfast get together. Automatically, my mind starts to think what to bring over. It's not like a pot-luck kinda of thing but somehow i like to prepare something. Sedap ke tak sedap, takpe. Yang penting semangat nak memasak.

    Honestly, i'm not that good in cooking. But i guess being here, and having a husband that goes home for lunch have taught me lots. Tak semua sedap. Cik Endun or Mommy Ethan tau lah i masak macam mana. Dulu2 kalau masak memasak memang 'tanggungjawab' Cik Endun / Mommy Ethan. I tolong beli barang kat pasar SS15 jer. Paling bagus pun i masak sayur. Kan..kan...Endun.

    Another thing, i love to eat. And i like malaysian foods. If in Malaysia i wouldn't bother to try and make my own keropok lekor. Ye lah, pegi je pasar malam. And maybe being a fulltime housewife is one of the factors too. Sometimes, i just couldn't figure out what to do around the house. Especially when both of the daddy and Milan are taking their nap. Mula lah merayap kat dapur, bukak cabinet and tengok apa bahan2 yang ada.

    Ok, panjang pulak cerita. Back to the breakfast get together, ingat nak buat bingka labu (sebab ada beli labu haritu). Labu untuk Milan sebenarnya. Tapi agak besar and nak simpan lama2 takut dah tak elok nanti. Tak pernah lagi buat bingka ni. And maybe kalau rajin, buat kuih ketayap sekali (sebab nak habiskan tepung sebelum balik KL). Yang ni pernah buat sekali. Plan je...tengok 'arah angin' macam mana malam hari Khamis tu nanti :P

    It's OK

    Just when i thought i'm in terrible situations, i'll say IT'S OK!

    • When Milan throws her tantrums, IT'S OK. I'll attend to her needs first. At least i know, she looks for me for comfort. That shows she loves her mommy. Anyways, there are 4 more months left for her to have that 'exclusive attention'
    • When i keep on wearing the same clothes, IT'S OK. At least, i have clothes to wear.
    • When the weather is too hot, IT'S OK. At least, i have a chance to go home and chill out with the a/c. The construction workers here only have the chance to sit under the dates tree during noon break.
    • When i feel burnt out with the house chores, IT'S OK. At least, i know i have a home and a family to look after.
    • When i don't earn any income on my own anymore, IT'S OK. At least, i don't have to stay on the street and beg.
    • When the pregnancy fatigue strikes me, IT'S OK. At least, i have the chances of having a baby.
    The point is, i'm learning to be more thankful in my life. Be calm and try not to judge anyone in any circumstances. Before i whine about anything, i will try to think about others. They might be having bigger obstacles than i am. Though sometimes, i do spilled it out. An ordinary human, I am.

    Monday, August 02, 2010

    Price of Motherhood

    Everything comes with a price. And it is no cheap!

    The stretch marks are coming through!!! First child, hip area. Second child, tummy. I told the daddy, after the 4th one, my whole body is gonna be full with them!!! Cocoa butter? Bio Oil? Baby Oil? ... cooking and engine oil je i tak try lagi peeps...huhu.

    Certainly no bikini for the next 10 years or so. Or worse still, no more bikini at all. Ye lah, after 10 years time, dah 45y.o...sesuwei ke nak berbikini lagi...LOL! Baiklah pakai sundress je, sepak2 pasir kat tepi pantai. Anak2 je lah pakai bikini. Bak kata seseorang "tak nak jadi hot mommy, nak jadi ibu mithali cukuplah" :). Peace!

    Sunday, August 01, 2010

    Girl vs Boy

    Yesterday, while watching Milan playing in the  park, me and the daddy were talking about issues back home. One thing leads to another. And it continues even until we were cooling down at home. 

    I was expressing my worries (sort of) with our girls in the future. You know how people tends to say "jaga lembu sekandang lagi senang dari jaga anak perempuan seorang" and yet we have 2 girls. What if we are going to have all 4 of them girls? Well, we don't have any answer for that. All i can think of is that, i need to be a sport kind of mom (sporting...) if that were to happen. Be their friend, a good one. At least we have some slight ideas of what they have in their mind. Itu plan i la, for now. And i hope Milan and her sister can become kamceng since they are almost sebaya. So tak payahlah nak berliburan dekat luar sangat.

    Don't get me wrong ya. I'm not complaining of having another girl. I'm more than happy. I am just planning and managing my ways of raising my kids. 

    Even zaman sekarang pun, primary school je baru...dah ada account FB. Siap ada yang status "in a relationship". Ada yang tipu mak ayah. Nanti zaman anak2 perempuan i meningkat remaja, entahlah macam mana. If u think, "ala...lambat lagi". Think again...

    Saturday, July 31, 2010

    Fatso Mama

    Well, i couldn't agree more when some friends said that i am "berisi" (not that mengandung kind of berisi, but gaining weight) or tembam or bulat. Yes, i've been using the i-am-pregnant excuse. To some extent, i think i overfed myself. There are pregnant mommas out there (well, most of them) are not gaining much weight and yet have a healthy baby. Ye lah, orang lain pun pregnant jugak. Eating for two? Looks like i've been eating for the whole house. I don't blame it on craving either. It is just my appetite. More like, ambil kesempatan untuk melantak. And i don't do workout at all. I now weigh 54kgs. From previous pregnancy experience, i gain average of 2kgs per month. And towards the end of the pregnancy, i gained 3-4kgs. With the swollen ankles and stuff.

    Let's do some math here:
    Month 5: 54kgs
    Month 6: 56kgs
    Month 7: 58kgs
    Month 8: 60kgs
    Month 9: 64 FRIGGIN' KGS!!! Goodness gracious!

    1. Average weight gain of 2kgs per month
    2. Baby will arrive in month 9

    Who to blame other than myself. I've known the fact that losing baby weight is so darn difficult. And look what i have been feeding myself with since yesterday:

    This was for yesterday's lunch (when i had the kesedaran sivik to not overfed myself), by
    the way those are the photos of types of sushi i made and i had 4-5pcs of each type :O ;

    And soon after the lunch, boleh termakan the birthday cake for dessert pulak kan..;

    And today, while i was making these keropok lekor at 9.30pm;

    I had a bowl of this (bubur kacang durian);

    No need to feel quilty? I forgot to mention that i had a half-chicken meal at Kenny Roger's for lunch. Even the daddy ordered only quarter-chicken meal!!! FatSo, SoFat!!!

    Friday, July 30, 2010

    Little Yaya

    My little niece (cousin's daughter) is in Selayang Hospital now. Together with her mom and grandma. They took off from Miri on the 25th July. She has liver problem. And she is only few months old. She needs liver transplant and blood donation (type O or A). She has been spending her life going to and fro Miri GH for check ups. I truly understand the pain that her mom and family are going through. Pray hard so that, there's an angel sent from heaven above with the donation. And if you are the angel, you may go to Selayang Hospital. Her name is Samantha Avrillinia. Or Mom's name: Suziana Paul.

    Our hope and prayers goes to Little Yaya...get well soon.

    * thinking of her makes me realised that we have to be thankful to have a healthy and active child (which sometimes we whined about).

    Thursday, July 29, 2010

    Mega Drool

    *Pesanan khas untuk sang suami 

     I had sleepless night last night due to my own mistake. Masa nak tido lah nak fikir2 makanan2 yang harus di'belasah' bila dah balik KL nanti. huhu...

    Here's the list:
    • DURIAN!!! (tak kisahlah SS2 buffet or ready packed from Giant)
    • Koay Teow Kerang / Wantan Mee Kering (preferably SS2, PJ) + Wheat Grass drink
    • Curry YTF (Lorong belakang Jln Sultan Ismail) *waves to tiTIQ*. Kalau tak sempat Bangsar punya pun boleh lah)
    • Assam Laksa (Jusco)
    • Nasi kerabu (preferably from Pasar Malam Kerinchi)
    • Nasi Air, Nasi Goreng Ayam, Nasi Goreng Ikan Masin (6th College, UM)
    • Loh Mai Kai
    • Any chinese mixed rice (most probably going straight for lunch at Lucky Garden upon arrival in KL)
    • Putu Bambu (pasar mlm Kerinchi)
    • Tau Fu Fa (gula merah)
    • Cendol (SS15, SJ)
    • Popia basah & cendol Mohammad (Pasar Ramadhan Stadium Melawati)
    • Kebab Melewar
    Ok, there's more but maybe sometimes we need to eat at home too lah jugak...and i only have like 2 weeks in KL. Nak ajak Kak Yati buka puasa dkt Tupai2 pun ada gak ni. Yangggg....

    About the foods in Miri, too much to blog about. :) ...For now, i'll have crackers (dlm bahasa Frenchnya: roti kibin) to minimise the drooling. Laters peeps...

    Wednesday, July 28, 2010

    BMW 3 Series

    So, i'm now officially one of the Beautiful Marvelous Woman (BMW) of the 3 Series. Haha...

    How does it feels? It feels so good. Knowing the fact that i have a happy life with a good family, good husband, beautiful daughter (daughterS by November) and God has granted me with good health (to which i then add some flabs).

    Nothing fancy for celebration. A decent lunch at Chop Chop Tea House & Restaurant (BCC). At first i couldn't decide whether to go for western or oriental. But, i'm more to chinese cuisine. And Chop Chop has it all. We had Prawn Tom Yum soup, Chicken Shui Mai and rice combo. Semua adalah sangat sedap. Sangat berbaloi. I finished my tom yum soup to the last drop. Milan had her lunch at home, but still she enjoyed her shui mai.

    Then, roaming around BCC. Papa asked if i want to get anything. I couldn't find anything to my liking. Anyway, he already bought a handbag as a present. Maybe next time. And i'm trying to minimise the luggage weight home.

    Later in the evening, Papa bought an ice cream cake from BR. A small one, more than enough for the 3 of us. There goes my 30 years YOUNG celebration :)

    Monday, July 26, 2010

    19 Mos

    Happy 19 Mos Milan dear!

    • Has so much tantrums. Mommy is not so worry about it as this is the phase when it should happen. Every toddler has it. The only thing Mommy needs to do is to stay calm (which is very the difficult)
    • Favourite cartoon shows: Special Agent Oso (Oso) and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse (Mimi Mouse). Not so much into Dora anymore.
    • Loves to dance (* see pic above)
    • Can count 1 - 10. But ABC tunggang terbalik :). Recognizes animals and their sounds
    • More words but conversation-wise still sound like 'burung berkicau'. The longest sentence would be 3 words put together. 
    • Likes to throw things
    • 12 teeth

    Saturday, July 24, 2010

    Balik Raya?

    Homai...i've got the raya date wrong! At first i thought it will be on 14.09.10. So, we'll be leaving KL (to Miri) only after the daddy leave to Bahrain. That is on the 11.09. Can't remember how did i came across the first date. Dahlah dengan penuh semangat siap canangkan dkt kawan2 di Miri yang i akan balik beraya. Siap plan nak visiting masa raya and gathering before raya. Yang paling tak tahan, baju raya pun dah ada nih!!! Siap nak beli sepasang lagi. I know, raya sebulan...but the first two days are the best. Boleh makan ketupat!

    Last night, we were having a farewell dinner for a family. They are leaving Bahrain for good. Balik Malaysia. So, borak punya borak...sekali another friend mentioned Raya is on 10.09. I was like " ke?!!". Not sure where my 2nd brother and family will celebrate their Raya, KK or Miri.

    Howlah...i need to inform the girlfriends...huhu

    Thursday, July 22, 2010

    Big Sister

    Ya ampun, Milan adalah TERsangat mengada2 manja sekarang ni. It all started since the last two days. At least that is what i've noticed. Before this, she is fine to watch tv alone while i'm in the kitchen. Just that, sekali sekala i jenguklah dia. When the daddy is around, better still. But, now all of that are so not applicable anymore. She would go "mommy, where mommy?" as soon as she can't see me. Semalam masa nak pegi check up, i almost lost my patience. She followed me to see the nurse. Masa nurse tgh sibuk amik my blood pressure, she was so busy touching the nurse's tag. Masa nak timbang berat, dia nak naik dulu. Pastu dgn mulut kecik "see Dedek"..pot pet pot pet.

    Masa jumpa doctor, dia lak sibuk nak panjat2 Mommy. Until the nurse had to express her concern of not letting her doing that. Even the doctor cakap, there might be a problem here when you are heavily pregnant. I told the daddy, luckily they don't manage to see how Milan will climb on top of me while we are sleeping. Then, she wanted to drink the glucose drink too. Oh, i think i haven't mention how she will sit or lie on the floor when she is protesting to something.

    Agaknya sebab Mommy banyak sangat tahan geram yesterday, Dedek pun banyak mengeras. At first, i thought Milan was just being cranky because she was sleepy. Sekali malam tu, masa Mommy nak prepare her dinner pun ulang perangai yang sama. Nak Mommy dukung. Mommy mandi, dia melalak dgn papa dkt luar. Basically, i can't be out of her sight at any point of time. Sampai the daddy pun macam nak hilang sabar.

    One thing i learn since i graduated from motherhood is being patience. Most of the times, i will just keep quiet and take a deep breath. Sabar kan separuh dari iman. Masalahnya sekarang, iman saya pun tak sebesar mana. Like the late grandpa Silo used to say in kiput

    "nadih han anak guek, kew sak leu maket"
    Trans: "Never mind a naughty child, as long as he is not sick"

    I hope i will be more patience considering the family is expanding already. Need to master the stress/anger management. Raising a child was never easy. And so, i am someone's child. Karma?I think so :)

    Scary Merry

    Baru dah habis melantak popia goreng inti luncheon meat ni, hehe. Macam mana lah tak naik 2kg every month. Last check up 52kgs, tadi dah 54.2kgs. Ni tak balik Msia lagi. Habislah kalau Tigger besar sangat nanti. Dengan Mommy yang ingat2 lupa cemana nak push ni. Kalau boleh tak nak lah dapat 3rd degree tear lagi. Amatlah 'bahagia' kalau kena lagi.

    Today, meeting Dr Shailaja again. Everything's fine. Tigger is fine. But, no scanning today only listened to her heartbeat. Tetiba, Dr Shailaja cakap kena buat blood test. Homaigod! Bila mention the word 'blood' je, mmg naik bulu roma. Hari tu dah buat dah sekali. That was for 3 tests. 1 test = 1 small tube. Today, 2 more tests. Sempat lagi i asked her, "why didn't they do the tests during the previous extraction?". She said, this test kena buat at this stage i.e: 21 weeks. Haih, berapa banyak tests daa... yang sebenarnya akak takut kat jarum tu.

    Jap, nak 'gaduh' ngan Milan jap. Dari dekat hospital, asyik being cranky. Sana sini, mommy...mommy.

    Ok, sambung cerita. Pasal blood test tadi tu. Jumpa doctor kol 4pm. Then, pegi lab. Ingatkan boleh terus ambik darah. Rupa2nya, for glucose test, kena minum dulu air glucose tu for 1 hour. Then, baru boleh ambik darah. Daddy macam dah bengang sebab byk sangat hal kan. Nak tak nak, daddy kena angkut Mommy and Milan sekali pegi office, ambik bag kerja dia, hantar the French consultant balik hotel, pastu patah balik hospital untuk ambil darah. Sampai kaunter, senyuman manis diri ini hadiahkan untuk lab technician tu, dibalas dengan muka masam dengan tak pandang muka kita pun. PMS apa...?The previous technician was quite nice. Senyum2, borak2. Pastu dorang ada sistem kepuasan pelanggan lah kut. She was supposed to give each patient two face cards. One with smiley face and another one with sad face. So, tengok lah if u rasa dia ok, letak lah the smiley face, kalau tak letak the sad face dalam box tu. Tadi, tak dapat pulak. Daddy cakap, maybe dia dah sure mmg dapat sad face punya, lol!

    On the way balik, rasa macam nak jalan2 gi Mothercare. Again, alasan nak carik stroller Milan. Last2 dapat benda lain. Ter'beli' lak Tigger's reusable diapers (dulu tak beli utk Milan, sebab pakai lampin kain. Jenuhnya nak align sebab senang sangat nak terbuka), then a baby blanket, toys and sandal for Milan.


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