Crazy Beautiful Life

I need You!

2012-01-31T14:27:00.000+08:00

Lamanya dah tak blog. First reason, bukan sebab malas ye. Antara resolusi tahun baru ni adalah, takmo malas! Sebab utama adalah, laptop saya buat hal. Encik suami kata, itulah suka sangat biar anak2 main. Main problem dgn laptop tu adalah keyboard dia. Type sikit, terus huruf 'y' akan keluar dgn sendirinya. Non-stop! Annoying, irritating. So, everytime rasa nak update blog, terus tak jadi.

So, semalam encik suami dah cuba betulkan apa yang patut. Pastu, ingat dah ok. Tetiba, huruf 'y' tu pulak taknak keluar bila tekan2. Haishhh. 'Do you need the letter 'y'?'. Ya, haruslah perlu donk.

Ni nak taip resume pun tak siap2 lagi. Yes, another 2012 plan. Get back to work :). Tak, bukan tak suka dok rumah ke apa. But, keadaan ekonomi tak mengizinkan. Enough said.

Ok loves, till then. I dont fancy writing with a touch screen device :). Tata.

Maybe yes, Maybe No.

2012-01-11T16:58:00.000+08:00

I've been trying not to think much about sending Milan to a playschool or montessori. Other kids have started their 'school'. My baby Milan has just turns 3 few weeks ago. But, since she is a December baby, she is considered as a 4 years old. And January next year, she needs to go to a kindie already tho she will be then barely 4yo.

She's so keen in reading and we are trying to teach her. In term of speaking, she's all good at it. Shapes, numbers, connect the dots, drawing flowers whatnots. Our only concern is again her need to socialize.

I guess montessori does not have syllabus. Should i change my mind, i can always enroll her. But then, the question is "ada tempat lagi ke?". If takda, continue home schooled lg la. next year, masukla kindie terus. Playschool pun tak murah dek non.

One question: Is it even necessary to send her now?

Don't bite

2012-01-06T23:51:00.001+08:00

Half an hour to midnight, and i don't feel like sleeping yet. The girls are soundly asleep. Guessed they are tired from our trip to the waterfront this evening.

Suprisingly Sophie just dozed off without breastfeeding tonight. I gave her a 5oz milk, then just rolling and mumbling and suddenly quiet. Oh, hallelujah! Dah tido rupanya. And Milan too. She was playing some games on Ipad and then passed the Ipad to me. After few minutes, she too has gone to lala land.

See that subject? I have been trying to wean Sophie off from breastfeeding. Ok, i got the idea that it is best to breastfeed your baby until they are 2 years old. But at this point, she is 1 year old and she loves to bite. Breastfeeding is no more fun. I hope it is not too much if i tell you breastfeeding gives me goose bumps!

Sakit sangat ke? Hewl yeah! It hurts so much that i cried most of the times. Imagine your nipples being twisted with a tweezer or being snapped by the rat trap. Something like that.

She likes to bite and pull. And if i shouted, she'll bite even harder. She gets excited. The 'shoved the boobies' onto her face doesn't do magic anymore as she knows how to free her nose and at the same time continue biting. Nor does the cover her nose. The best trick so far is to tickle her feet.

I have tried applying coffee before breastfeeding, nahhh...she just sucked them all. She might even love the taste of kopi susu. As much as i cannot stand the fear of her biting my nipples everytime, i am quite reluctant to stop breastfeed her.

Well, let see if we can reach the 2 years milestone. Should the biting worsen, sorry darling. Your younger siblings deserve their chance to breastfeed too. And Mommy won't be able to do so if Mommy is 'nipple-less'.

p/s: breastfeeding is difficult to start and stop. i think.

Fresh Start

2012-01-06T16:13:00.000+08:00

Happy new year lovelies. Here's to the new and fresh beginning of 2012.

I sure have lots to write (well,actually I'm more interested in showing you photos) in the next posts. More of the girls' photos actually. As much as i wanna think i look just fine, my pics are too honest to show the otherwise. Ok, that 'losing baby fat' resolution is being carried forward again this year.

Went to Damai for few days and since there was no internet connection in the room, i went the 'ol skool' jurnal writing. The hard copy style. Pen and paper. That Damai entry, I'll postdate soon.

Till then, be safe.

2011-12-16T16:59:00.000+08:00

Wishing all of you who celebrates, a Merry and Jolly Christmas and Happy New Year!

Balik Kampung

2011-12-13T08:41:00.001+08:00

8 more days, we'll be back to Kuching. This year is husband's turn. And my family (incl aunts etc) has been calling and asking 'when will you be home for xmas?'. They all agak pelik cos christmas will always be at home for them. One, because they are married to someone from Miri or if they married someone not from Miri, every Gawai they will make sure they go back to the spouse's place. Suggested the same method to hubby as he is celebrating Gawai and I'm not, he said they don't really celebrate Gawai. La pulak...!

We'll be in Kuching until the first week of January. 2 weeks holiday and I'm still figuring out what to do. If i have the fund, i'll take a flight home for few days.

Pastu nanti mesti ada yg calling2 to tell how much fun are they having at home and how unlucky i am from missing it. Huwaaa...nanti nak tell my girls, marry someone who doesn't celebrate christmas. So that, I'll be able to celebrate christmas with them every year.

Off Noriday

2011-12-12T14:05:00.001+08:00

I have stopped Taking Noriday since yesterday. Finished the last pack and decided to stop immediately. Reason being, i have not have my menses since August. And I seriously have putting more weight. I am not sure if taking Noriday had caused my weight gain. I am 52kgs now. And with my petite frame, my ideal weight should only at 48kgs.

I read a forum on Noriday, some said the side effect is 'buncit'. I think i too have that :(. My double chin looks more obvious. Though I'm still breastfeeding lil Sophie. Lucky those moms that get their skinny pre-natal figures back. I noticed I have huge appetite nowadays. I MUST eat rice at night. Otherwise I'll be so hungry and not be able to sleep. Erghh...

We'll see if things work differently after off Noriday. Eh, I'm not planning for another baby yet tau. I'm going the conventional way. Goooo... latex!

First Time

2011-12-08T08:42:00.003+08:00

First time is the hardest to even think of. First time is always the hardest thing to do. But when it is over, we normally remember the first time always.

We've been looking for Milan playschool or Montessori for next year. Few friends with kids same age as Milan are sending theirs for trial class already. A friend 'tweet'ed on how nervous she is today to send her little girl for her first trial class.

Milan first trial class was for a ballet lesson. In a dance studio for kids at Empire Gallery, Dance Space. We went there few weeks ago to check on KidzSports (not too sure if i got the spelling right). Then I saw the dsnce studio. It was almost 2pm and the trial class starts at 2pm on Saturday. Parents are allowed to be in the studio for observation, for first timer only.

I wasn't that nervous since Milan herself looked excited. And just when she saw some hoola hoops, she shamelessly took one (pink colour of course) and start wiggling around with it. And everybody was watching! She asked the trainer there her name. 'Ok, i need not to worry so much' so i thought.

Then they (with other kids) were asked to sit in a circle and the trainer started to tell them what to do. Like 'kissing you knee' and such.

Annndddddd...what my friendly girl did? She closed her eyes tight and she was trying hard not to cry. She just sat there! I went to her and talked softly to her, asked her to do like what others did. And bam! She cried and said 'I don't want to dance!'.

Fearing that she might disturb other girls who really want to dance, i took her out. Maybe we'll try again next time.

As much as first time is hard for me to let her go to adventure learning outside, i believe it is even harder for her. She has never took instruction for a stranger. I might be sound 'angry' to her. She hates being directed i guess. Being told what to do. We'll slowly adapt.

Everytime we passed by Empire Gallery, she'll go 'I wanna go to MY ballet class, pleaseeeee'. Hmmmm...we'll try again after our christmas holiday.

*They have few learning center for kids in Empire. Baking clsss, Art class (painting and clay, if i'm not mistaken), music class, ballet dancing and of course KidszSports. All in the same level, which i have forgotten which. All i remembered it is the top floor of the mall. Not to sure if it is level 'S' or '2'.

God Bless

2011-11-30T23:47:00.000+08:00

Still feeling sad on the demise of our beloved cousin sister. The doctor said she might have brain tumor. When i say might, it was the latest news i heard of last night. I am not so sure of the real story. And i don't think i should ask anyone about it yet. Maybe later.

Anyway, life has to go on. She will always be remembered and loved. I pity her older sister who is sitting for her SPM this week. Hopefully she is strong enough to go through this ordeal and at the same time paying attention to her exam.

God bless.

RIP dear cousin

2011-11-30T02:56:00.001+08:00

Dear Lyn,

Rest in peace darling. You sure is happy on the other side of the world. Please don't worry about your mom and dad, And your siblings. You'll be greatly missed.

*my cousin just passed away at the age of 13years old. She was all fine and was having a dance practice when she complaint about severe headache and started to throw up. Rushed to MGH and pronounced dead upon arrival.

Redeem Rewards

2011-11-24T17:00:00.002+08:00

I need an 'on-the-go' handbag. My good ol RM49.90, black, quilted, gold chained 'chanel-like' was worn out. I bought it last christmas at Merdeka Mall, Miri. Ever since then, it has been my travelling companion. Dah lencun sangat.

I've been hunting for a replacement handbag for quite awhile now. Too many to choose and i was being so indecisive. And i can't afford designer's handbag.

I saw one canvas handbag from Hush Puppies, 'longchamp' like. Quite nice and affordable. We mothers love canvas handbag. Easy to clean, in case of milk spill etc. So i thought i might get the HP one for christmas.

Then Mr Husband reminded me to check my credit card point if there's anything i can redeem with it. Kan hujung tahun, rugi tak redeem. Eh, check-check, i have enough points to redeem a pink canvas handbag. Woohoo! Though i am not a big fan of pink colour. Anything free (well, kinda) will do for me. Cheapskate much? :)

Have you redeem yours?

* my first girl is begging me to color her toenails. she is so into make ups already. Yeah, kids nowadays kan....

Potty Training a 2 years old

2011-11-23T14:20:00.001+08:00

My mother, MIL and husband had been asking me to potty train Milan since she was barely 1 year old. At the time, i wasn't ready yet. Thinking, 'oh my, how am i suppose to clean the carpet if she pee or poo on it?'. So i took my own sweet time until she was about 2 1/2 years old. right when she knows how to speak fluently and understands instruction.

Firstly, i made her choose her favourite potty. She chose an apple green potty from Ikea.

Then, i chose a random but right, relaxing day to start. When i say relaxing, it is a day when I'm not too stressed and we are both in a tip top condition.

Start the day by not putting diaper on. Only a short pant. Or if you can afford a pull up diaper, that would be very much recommended.

Take her to the loo for every 10mins. The more the better. Because on the first day, she needs to get the idea that she needs to do 'her business' in the potty. Of course there are times when i was occupied with my 2nd girl, Milan missed her 10mins interval and i had to wipe the floor (thanks to whoever invented kitchen tissue, wet tissue and Febreeze).

Expand the time interval everyday until she gets the idea and be able to control her bladder. Thanked God, Milan is such a sweetie. She 'mastered' the potty training in a week. She's always easy to train. I had her off her pacifier in just a day!

Now she is diaper free when at home but wears it during bedtime or when going out. However, most of the time the diaper comes out dry.

There was one time, she was playing with the kids at her grandparents'. Diaperless. She needed to pee. I asked her to hold on. And she did! After few rounds of running around, she came to me and said this "Mom, i can hear water splashing in my tummy. It want to come out. I need to shee-shee". LOL! We went home immediately.

Noriday

2011-11-23T09:29:00.001+08:00

One thing i hate about travelling nowadays (apart of packing n unpacking) is the risk of not taking my mini pills. Last night i made Mr Husband went back to our place to get it. How many pills did i missed? 2! And i was unshielded!

I really need the goodluck for this one :).

A day after Milan was 1, I was so determined to have another baby (now Sophie). I immediately went off pill. But this time, lets just give my uterus a long break. That poor 'thing' deserves it. Maybe we'll try for another one or maybe we're happy with 2. Mr Husband jokingly said we'll go to Cambodia to adopt a boy and name him Marcus!

My Harimau Malaya

2011-11-22T15:33:00.000+08:00

Wow...this is the longest leave ever i took from writing here. Not tnat i am super busy. I was rather occupied with the girls. Now that Sophie is mobile and likes to put anything she can find into her mouth,i cannot 'layap' at all.

Today is my lil harimau malaya's (Sophie) first birthday. I really wanted to bake her cupcakes or the cute ladybug apam but i don't have the tools with me. We have been staying at in-law's since last Thursday. Masalah air dekat Brunsfield tu. It might have been resolved by now tapi i told my husband to just wait until Thursday.

I think the girls love it here. They have longer naps. Bother me lesser.

So, yeah. Happy Birthday Sophie darling. You have started walking when you were 10mos, 29 September 2011 to be exact. But Mommy was too 'glued' to twitter and facebook and slowly neglected to document your deevelopment in here. As at today, you have 6 teeth. 4 bottom and 2 at the top. You can only say 'Papa' and 'kakak', but never Mommy. You LOVE to eat. Your favourite line whenever you want something sounds like 'ketik ketik ketik' (repeatedly and fast). Still feeding from Mommy though Mommy tried to wean you off several times. And one more thing, you only smile to camera when the photographer is kakak. Though you love to eat anything, You are such a petite baby. Weigh at 8kgs only on your first birthday. That's considered as underweight.

We have planned a small picnic for your birthday this year. Let just hope the weather agrees to it. Mommy made you a tutu to match the ladybug theme.

Happy Birthday again sweetheart. Mommy heart you ( like a love song baby :) ).

Side effect 1

2011-08-05T14:27:00.001+08:00

I was just started on Noriday last 2 weeks (last post).

And i think it has messed up my menses. I had my LMP on 13 July. But on 2Aug here it came again! In June, it was on the 15th. I guess could be because of the Noriday.

Next...

2011-07-25T14:57:00.000+08:00

This entry is all about family planning.

We are not planning to have another baby so soon. Though i went all "wow..gugu gaga" with others' newborns.

I have been looking for methods of contraceptives. I wanted to do implant but my skin is so prone to keloid. So, passed. Condom? Errr...my previous episiotomy had somehow turn to keloid. Not a good idea, seriously. And since we are still breastfeeding, i go for Noriday.

Some infos on Noriday:

- Safe for breastfeeding
- Start immediately (any day)
- take it everyday continuously
- NOT EFFECTIVE for the FIRST 2 WEEKS!

Gotta go...darling Sophie is not well.

Addicted?

2011-07-20T16:10:00.001+08:00

Some of you might have noticed that i've been a little bit quiet in FB and of course in here.

One, for the lil Sophie now is mobile. She crawls, she climbs, she pulls etc. So, more time spent monitoring her. Second tooth is coming out. Ermm..what else ya? Oh yeah, i still can't wear my wedding ring. My finger somehow grew after having 2 kids. So do my feet. I can't wear most of my shoes. No size 5 anymore. I can understand the 'shrunken' clothes, but shoes?

Well, apart of the above, I have been busy crafting. I must admit that i got hooked to crafting. Somehow...addicted. I have made quite a number of hairclips and headbands. A tutu each for the girls. And I'm making more. And of course i have the girls ~~assisting me~~ messing with the ribbons etc.

I got my birthday present early this year. On Monday, the daddy suprised me with this:

MSM10 by Tesco

I told him to just buy me a ~~cheap~~ simple sewing machine for me to learn and experiment. I guess this one will make do. Thanks darling. I plan to look for cheap cotton fabrics this weekend. I can't wait to make dresses for my little princesses! Woohooo!!!!

Blessed

2011-07-19T00:04:00.000+08:00

There are times where i wanted to write about how hard my days were with Sophie. Separation anxiety is coming in. But after reading some blogs and saw some pictures in FB about sick babies, i feel blessed. Blessed for my baby is just a normal baby and most importantly she is healthy.

Thank you Lord.

Something I Love

2011-07-13T16:15:00.000+08:00

Whenever i have my me time, I'll be crafting. It was kind of therapeutics. Focusing on the details and such.

I have a different blog for my crafts. You can find it here.

See you there too?

Here still

2011-07-06T20:40:00.000+08:00

I am still here indeed. I have always been trying to 'steal' my 'me' time from the kids. And more often than not, i failed. Maybe that's one of the setbacks of being a SAHM. The kids have too much of Mommy that it is never enough. No one else but Mommy. Not even the daddy.

I have been feeling quite sick for the past few days. Feeling dizzy and giddy. The same symptom i had when i was pregnant with the girls. But, i did the UPT and it came out negative. Went to a GP and prescribed with paracetamol. The doctor said that my blood pressure is quite low. I think it might be because of lack of sleep. Somehow today, i feel better. I don't know how. Might be because of the EPO and Fish Oil capsule i took last night. Either that or i slept quite well last night after taking Piriton for the hives. Macam-macamlah sangat nak kena makan.

Sophie is progressing well. She can sit on her own already. I mean, from crawling to sitting position. She can stand up by holding on to something. That 'something' is always Mommy legs.

Okies, my 'me' time is up. I will try to 'steal' again soon :)

Psstttt!

2011-07-03T09:00:00.000+08:00

Hi darlings,

Been awhile ya? Been busy with the kiddos. Sophie has turn 7mos and is growing her first tooth. Right bottom. So, she is a lil bit cranky and clingy. She is mastering the crawling skills. Moving backwards to start with. Loves to hold on you to get up and likes to poke your eyes, mouth, nose.

Milan on the other hand, has always been the happy and cheeky one. Favorite words are "are you sure?". Me and Papa can't really have a nice uninterrupted conversation nowadays. Tengah sedap2 borak, mesti ada suara2 halus cakap "shhh...don't talk. Quiet please". Aik?! Either that or she'll make some noise too. Which to her is part of our conversations.

Babies..babies everywhere.

2011-06-16T12:01:00.001+08:00

Congratulations to friends across the globe on the birth of their newborns. Cornelia with her Marion in Shanghai and Junaidah with her Nawaal in Bahrain. Gorgeous babies.

And guess what? I miss being pregnant already. Yes, that fast. Reading Puteri's entry on this, makes me wanting a newborn even more. Ngehehehe. And another yes, i had forgotten about the contractions pain already. Well, that was my heart talking. My body says otherwise. The cervic needs time to recover for an excellent pregnancy. God's willing, we'll try for another one in 2014. As for now. I plan to quit 'production' by the age of 35. Boy or no boy, close factory.

Being healthy

2011-06-15T14:52:00.000+08:00

I always tell myself to watch what i eat. Eat healthily. I wanna be a healthy mom. So that i'll live long enough to watch my girls going to college, getting married, play with my grandkids. A woman full of mission and vision i am, yes.

Well, one can always talk. Here i am having rice with 'kasam ikan' goreng and tempoyak. Both, fermented food! When it comes to 'kasam', i can't say no. Bluarghhhh!

Them babies

2011-06-14T13:53:00.001+08:00

Hi lovelies. I've been doing nothing, not even updating this blog. But i did stopped by your blogs though.

Gahhh...i'm still feeling dizzy from running with my 2 girls. So not fit i am.

We woke up around 9pm this morning. And i thought we'll go down to the management office and pay the bills. Plus, i need to get some kitchen supplies too. By 10.45am, we went down. Bought the stuff i need and brought them to the park until it started to drizzle. So, we went up. We are staying on 14th floor, top floor. Just as we settled down, suddenly i felt dizzy. Must be my blood pressure, so i thought. Until, i saw Sophie's hammock and the curtain are swaying to the left and right. Right then, the blood gushed to my head. TREMORS! I grabbed Sophie, and with Milan on the other hand. Get Milan to put on her sandal. Left the tv on and locked the front door. I rushed to the elevator and took us to the lobby. But, suprisingly, there were only us! Where's everyone? This is my 3rd experience with tremors. First was in March 2004, then the 2nd one in 2007. What makes it different and scarier now, is the two girls i have. I won't be so scared if i was alone. You know, motherly instinct and the feeling of protecting your kids.

I sms'ed' husband who is at the office and he told me this:

Earthquake in Sumatera

So much is happening around us. God, please protect us. Amen.

P/s: i hate living in an apartment. Being an acrophobic, i can't stand living here.

HoB

2011-06-06T08:18:00.000+08:00

Ola sweethearts..*crickets sound*...

I've been leaving this blog for quite sometimes already. Blogging is by far the 2nd best way to express myself or share about whatever that is bothering me. The first would be talking to the besties.

Are you on facebook? Bet you are. Well, check this out.
House of Bambina

Nothing big really. But, at least i now have something better to do.

Laters lovelies.

Laters

2011-05-19T18:32:00.000+08:00

I'm currently busy with something. Well, something 'mini', nothing 'mayjah'. Laters sweeties...xoxo

Expansion

2011-05-16T20:25:00.001+08:00

Last night, darling husband was expressing his feeling towards the little chaos at home. "I am living in a crazy world with crazy kids. The only person that is not crazy is my wife". I could only smile for i know i had way more than his so called la vida loca. And soon after that i told him "if only we can be sure that our next baby is a boy". Err...wait, i mean if i ever get pregnant again. He replied with a "thanks but no thanks" smile.

It is a challenging life we are living in of course. Raising two kids aged 2yo and 5mos (if you are trying to tell me this, "baru 2 orang" go away!. Actually, Mak (my mom) warned me about having kids close to each other. She said give yourself some space. But, then again Mak...i started quite late. So, gotta adjust on the "equation" though. Even now i am complaining about my knee. Could be lacking on calcium. Being too ignorant too i guess. I only started drinking Anlene Lacta last night. Not to mention i have been slacking on my EPO + Fish Oil supplement intake. There goes my 2011 resolution to live a healthy life. Hopefully things, by all means, will get better.

Ahh..lil Sophie will be 6mos in 6 more days. How time flies ay? *cliche, i know :P

Tomorrow, darling husband will be at home. Wesak day public holiday. See if we are able to get up early, we'll be going to MPH, Curve to get some books for Milan. Need to start teaching her to read intensively already. Pity her, all excited looking at the signboards as the father drove by. And all she can say is "Look, there's a letter P". Only letters, no spelling and reading yet. Mommy will try to get you to read sweetie. Lets train your sister to be more independent first.

Oh yeah, gotta thanked Mrs Pearce for playing host at the Pearces' pad last weekend. Nice, cosy beautiful house.

The hosts

The buffet spread

The girlfriends

Meet Cha'mone. the Pearces' cutie beagle.

A high school friend asked in Facebook. "What occasion was this?". Well, when you have great friends like them girlfriends, you don't need to have any reason or special occasion to meet up.

Till then lovelies, xoxo

UP!

2011-05-16T11:23:00.002+08:00

YES!!! Now put up some entries bloggers :). Gotta to do mine.

You Joker You

2011-05-11T11:42:00.000+08:00

*Entry geram (bukan sebab i "macam bagus" yeah)

Someone from FB just sent me this message. A senior from high school. I'm not gonna do anything with it. Why would i, yes?

"aloo...gd morning,how r u...?
being a proud mother of 2 (correct?), u must be ok lah...blessed by God,mana boleh tk ok...hahaa...

msg u something loh, so we'll know each other better...
after grad. from UM did u work in kl?what course did u took?

tell me s/thing about ur hubby...oso from.miri?

dunno what else i should ask.we start from this little bit here and there lo..."

See the part i put in red. *Big laugh*. Why would i wanna introduce my husband to you? Nah... And "we start..", duh. Like, then what? Sibuk jer...rimas!

Mother's Day

2011-05-09T13:24:00.002+08:00

Last year's was this.

This year we got it right already, huhu. Despite FB messages already poured in since early of the week. Sent text messages to my mom and aunts. Why text? See, i love my mom but i can't quite express it by saying the "i love you mak" thingy. Paling2 pun hug jer. Guess, that was partly because of the way we were brought up. I even asked my grandma if i was an adopted child when i was 7 years old. My mom was quite strict with me. I was the only girl then, until my sister was born a year after that. I was quite close to my Bapak then.

I totally change that, in my relationship with my daughters. Every morning, first thing is hugs and kisses and the "i love you" thingy. Then. same thing, comes bedtime.

But, Mak surely loves us more than anyone else. I know it even though it was not expressed. She cried when she saw me rolling in contractions pain. She held my hand. She didn't take any food not until i came out from the labour room.

Sadly now that i an not financially independent, i can't bought something for her. Sending her text would suffice i hope. She is in kampung, where the hp reception is quite bad. She has to call me first and i would return the call.

Anyways, this is what them sweethearts have for me yesterday;


Certainly not for Mommy :)

Till then darlings, happy hoart is crying to bake cake (PlayDoh)

Mother

2011-05-05T12:05:00.001+08:00

This year is gonna be my 3rd mother's day celebration. Mr Husband was asking Milan (yes, my 2yo daughter), what to do on Mother's Day. As our small family are expanding, more and more annual celebrations to be celebrated. FIL is invited us to join him in Janda Baik this coming weekend. And i don't quite like the idea of spending nights at the hotel just yet. With Sophie, the crying baby. You know, lemah semangat baby. I even try not to take her out at night.

Anyways, that was not the point. I wanted to write about how i spent my days. Most of they days just passed by 'unproductively', besides entertaining my 2 kids and houseworks. Most SAHMs have their own income. Small home based businesses. I wanted to start one too. Somethinglah.

Maybe i can request for a sewing machine for a start.

Laters darls, xoxo

The 'Unrest' Labour

2011-05-03T10:38:00.002+08:00

Well, Tuesday blues they say? We get that all the time don't we. I remembered exactly what a motivational speaker told us during a talk years back. When we are at work and keep on thinking of how nice it is to be at home or going on a holiday, we need to give our self a bit of time off indeed. Go for a short holiday. Anyways, short is never enough right ;)

Papa was on MC on Friday. So, we went to the clinics. Note the "s". We went to see Sophie's paed at Hospital Umra first. She too had fever. Then, we just rest at home the whole day. On Saturday, went to cut my hair at Ken's salon. Sunday night we went to a friend's wedding reception at Sri Damansara Club.And yesterday was stay-at-home-day too.

Laters darls, kinda 'challenging' typing with one hand.

Us at the club's play area

Eat Workshop

2011-04-29T23:42:00.000+08:00

Who would have thought that there's a dining place in a middle of a quiet industrial area in Glenmarie. Mr Husband wanted to have a birthday dinner for his dad and brother's birthdays. And i need to pick a place for that. My first criteria was a place close to our home. And, western food of course. So, i found out about this place from Google (my FIL laughed at this idea). Well, after reading some reviews and got a consent from Mr Husband, i made a reservation for dinner at 7.30pm.

Oh yes, we so do not need to reserve as we were the only customer there. They do have more visitors during lunch. I think it must have been the location. Honestly, the industrial area is so quite at night, and suddenly there's this building lit in yellow rice lights. Poor signage too. Luckily they have a map in their website.

Put all that aside, and let's talk about the foods. One word, awesome! I would love to go there again if only they are still running the place. What i heard from the waitress, some company is buying the building and the owner is getting married. And she has no intention to continue the business elsewhere.

Pictures;

The infamous and delicious Ultimate Chocolate Fondue (before 'poking')

Poked! And look at the 'lava' flowing...yummy!

FIL brought 2 bottles of wine. Corkage @ RM 25

Overall, it was a nice experience dining here. Notice that i only remember the name of that chocolate dessert? It was so freakin' delicious that i even can remember how it tastes like. Crunchy chocolate brownie, with sweet chocolate sauce. Devour that with the vanilla ice cream and the pineapple jam. *Drool*

I'm sorry if you only read this entry after 14 May 2011, because that is gonna be their last operating day. We hope to visit them for the last time before that, for tea maybe. And definitely, for that chocolate fondue!

Endless Love

2011-04-28T15:15:00.001+08:00

May our love for each other pour endlessly, xoxo

She Wolf

2011-04-28T12:51:00.002+08:00

One of my 2011 resolutions is to become a better mother to my children. And more often than not, i feel like i'm losing the momentum. I failed to keep my cool. I raised my voice. I gave angry look. I've tried, I'm trying and I'll keep on trying.

* still feeling bad because i raised my voice to Milan who was just recovered from fever yesterday, sob...sob.

Easter Weekend

2011-04-25T10:54:00.000+08:00

Ola peeps!

Well, that was what i did during the weekend. Had a food fiesta with them gorgeous girlfriends. Milan was not around. The daddy took her to see grampa. We all had fun despite of the 'super late' lunch. So sorry ladies. I'm with a 5mos baby, so kind of taking too much times doing anything.

Yesterday was a 'lazying around' day. Went out in a mission for searching a baju kurung. Off to Plaza Alam Sentral at noon, had lunch at the foodcourt then bought a baju kurung (yet another brown colour attire *sighs* ) at First Lady Fashion House. The baju kurung / jubah there were quite reasonably priced. Below RM100. Wanted to get a stylish kaftan, but we need to breastfeed, yes? So, a baju kurung will do. I was quite impressed with myself yesterday. Because, the mission before leaving the house was a baju kurung and we got home with JUST baju kurung. Nothing extra.

So looking forward to this weekend already are we? There'll gonna be a wedding reception on Sunday night at Sri Damansara Club. Hair make over on Saturday. Monday is a public holiday, right? No plan for that day yet.

Chop chop

2011-04-22T12:12:00.001+08:00

So can't wait to crop and color me hair! Me is thinking of light brown with shade of golden blonde. We'll see what Ken, the hairstylist cum cousin has to say about it :).

Why snipping? I can't risk my head to go bald. Hair loss darling, post natal hair loss.

Enjoy your weekends, Easter bunnies!!! lovesss..

*pics courtesy of Google

Sophie is 5mos young today!

2011-04-22T08:32:00.000+08:00

She has not master the 'on tummy' skill yet. Recently tries to turn her body sideways. Her sister is quite faster in that part. At her age, Milan can turn her body already. Anyway, every baby is special in their own way. Oh, that pic..i make her to. She is one clingy baby that she spends most of her time (sleeping too) in Mommy's arms. I guess that gives her less time practicing the 'rolling stones' skills.

She goes gugu gaga a lot. Make that 'burrr" sound with saliva all over herself. Her sister refuses to kiss her because of that. She would kiss Sophie on the shoulder instead. She grabs things better. Anything at all. Breastfeeding still.

Happy 5mos young sayang. We love you lots.

Saturday Sambal Party

2011-04-21T12:15:00.000+08:00

So looking forward to Saturday *counting fingers*. Yay! 2 more days :)

I roughly have ideas on what to cook. Finally, can set a date for a simple feast.

Please wear light clothing as the house is quite warm and we haven't install an aircond yet.

Till then, xoxo

!!!

2011-04-19T13:47:00.000+08:00

Sakit kepala menganggu prestasi dan emosi.

Not feeling good :(

In Bad Times

2011-04-15T13:26:00.000+08:00

Him: ok. goodnite everyone.
Her: Where are you going?
Him: Watch tv.
Her: No, you are not. I had a long day and i need hugs
Him: ok, i'll just go and switch the tv off.

Hi weekend, xoxo

Rindu

2011-04-14T21:35:00.001+08:00

Saya sangat rindu nak main masak-masak.

Walaupun busy dengan anak2, i still menyempat nak masak. To me, it is a theraphy. Dengan menggendong si Sophie, saya sempat nak goreng bihun. Buat nasi goreng pattaya pun boleh ye. Of course la telur dadar tu ala2 'telur hempap' instead of bungkus the nasi.

Tapi, lately i really feel like cooking. Cook and invite kawan2 dtg makan. Ramai lagi kawan2 yang tak sempat nak jumpa lagi. Masak the simple spaghetti ke kan. And nak sangat buat the berries panna cotta macam i buat masa Milan's 1st birthday. Buat cheesecake ke kan. Kalau dekat Bahrain, seronok nak main masak2 sebab senang nak cari bahan. Turun kedai runcit dekat bawah apartment pun dah cukup.

* image courtesy of google

Hopefully this weekends akan digunakan untuk mengemas rumah. Senang nak panggil kawan2 datang. Birthday pulak lambat lagi. Tu je la alasan saya nak minta dibelikan oven :P. Saya kan kuli tanpa gaji.

Have a fruitful Friday. To me, Friday or any other day is the same.

Why Sophie...why?

2011-04-14T13:01:00.000+08:00

Burned Out!

2011-04-12T22:34:00.000+08:00

Well said.

Great? Not!

2011-04-11T12:52:00.000+08:00

Last weekends, i had the hives attack again. Starting from Friday night and last until yesterday afternoon. So unbearable. But still i had to force myself to get out from the house. Went out to my cousin's salon at Sunway to trim my hair. And Papa too needed to cut his hair. Oh yeah, before that i went to a 'sensei' shop in SS15, Subang Jaya to get some remedies for my hives. I just want to look for an alternatives. I can't just rely on the anti-histamines alone. After that we went to search for a bike shop in Sg Buloh. Couldn't find it. Then, i saw "Desa Parkcity" sign board. So, off we went. Quite a nice place. A park where you can walk your pets. A huge neighbourhood with their own shopping mall, the Waterfront.

Gahh...the kiddos are screaming. Laters darlings, xoxo


The 'fugly' hives.


The remedies for the hives


Macam geli, sebab ada SEAHORSE!!!

Nevertheless, we had an awesome weekends!

Wear

2011-04-08T12:06:00.000+08:00

I wanted to blog about something but the kiddos are kinda having their hard times. Milan is crying for a strawberries, which is kinda impossible for me to get it now.

Maybe some other day, i'll try to write again.

Enjoy your weekends! XOXO

Bee-Stung!

2011-04-07T10:38:00.000+08:00

How would you feel waking up in the morning, looked at the mirror and saw this?!

Absolutely not SEXY!!!

Why? I don't know either...

This is the 3rd time this is happening

So macam2...grrr!

2011-04-05T09:30:00.000+08:00

The internet is fine, i am done with the house chores (at least the important ones), but i'm so lazy to write now.

Loves.

Moderations

2011-04-01T18:11:00.000+08:00

This reminds me of my pregnancies and cravings. A pregnant woman is surely mentally challenged by those cravings, but agak2 lah kan. The tired husband just got back from (i presumed) a long weary day at work, and maybe you could just put off the thoughts of the foods until the next day. Just my 2 cents worth;

Kitty Cat!

2011-04-01T16:07:00.000+08:00

We have no plan for the weekends. Tapi 2 minggu sekali, adalah wajib restock formula for Milan yang kuat menyusu itu.

Till then, enjoy you weekends. XOXO

Yes? No?

2011-03-30T23:43:00.001+08:00

A woman's life is a little bit complicated than a man's. No hard feelings. Still loving them men. But, don't you think so?

By end of this year, it's gonna be my 4th year being unemployed. I quit my job right before i got married and then went to Bahrain. The plan was to try to find a job there. But then, we were blessed with Milan. When Milan was born, we were still living in Bahrain. Everything was quite manageable. Now, we have 2 children and back in KL. A household with single income living in KL is not easy. Some friends are already offering help to get me a job. I feel blessed for their concerns. We (husband and i) too have been discussing about me going back to work.

I truly understand that being a SAHM is an ultimate job for every woman. Some might say, you should be thankful for having the chance of being one. But what if we have financial commitments? Those SAHMs with home operated business are lucky. But i don't have what it takes to start a home based business. Your truly is not a business-minded person. What if we are to support our parents? Dilemma.

I am so ready to put my business suit back on. I am so ready to have those 9-5, 5 days a week routine. But i am so not ready to put the girls under someone else's care. I am not willing to let go yet. I don't know where and how to start. Anyway, sooner or later i need to make a decision and by then i should know what to do best.

I remembered the heart-to-heart talk me and my beloved sista, years back at Subang Parade, Kenny Roger's. An emotional one. Apparently, we have similar childhood memories. Dads are teachers, moms are homemakers and simple lives.

Well, we'll see how fast can i learn to let go :)...till then, xoxo

Forever Ever?

2011-03-30T17:14:00.002+08:00

Mannnn...finally after few days of 'agony' waiting for the super slow internet line.

I do have things to blog about.

No1 is getting more hilarious day by day. We have just finished our "over the counter-cashier-customer-game". She was the cashier, and dearest mommy was the customer. All things are priced at 1 rEnggit! Mind you. Every time Sophie cries, she'll show her concern. "What's wrong Sophie", "what happened Sophie?", "please don't cry Sophie". Sometimes, Sophie will just stop and smile at her. But most of time, Sophie doesn't bother...haha. We think that she has gain weight. She looks chubbier. Yesterday, she was playing in her tent and pressed her round belly. "Milan so fat..so fat..so fat" and carried on singing the 'so fat' part.

Oh yeah, on Wednesday, she woke up with her left eye swollen. I don't know how did it happened. It gets better after two days.

Kesian sangat

Last weekend, we didn't do much. Papa wanted to find this (pic) shop. I think it must be quite good since it is quite famous from what we read in one of the malaysian food blogs. From the address we know it is somewhere in Glenmarie. Then, the first instruction from the GPS was "drive 100 mtr and turn left" and the distance was only 600m. Like?! So friggin near our place. It opens from Monday to Saturday, 9am till sold out :P


Restoran Meng Kee Char Siew, Glenmarie

Since it was already lunch time, we can't find any seat at this shop. So, we walked for a bit to the other chinese restaurant down the same street and had our lunch there. It was a hot sunny day. Luckily both girls behaved. Papa and Milan had chicken and char siew rice and i had curry yong tau foo (favourite!). I have been craving for it since i was pregnant with Sophie. Though it was too salty to my liking but that will do for lunch that day. Still can't beat the curry yong tau foo at the stall behind my previous office at Jln Sultan Ismail. Crap...drools!


My curry yong tau foo


Papa and Milan's lunch


Milan in the restaurant

After lunch, we went Section 7 to look for the local polyclinic for Sophie's next vaccination. In the web, the nearest one should be Poliklinik Komuniti Shah Alam. And after going round and round we found Klinik Kesihatan Shah Alam. They are the same clinic.

Well peeps, girls are wailing already. Mommy needs to perform her duty. It is so hot outside isn't it? Try this, Magnolia Tutti Frutti ice cream, quite nice...cheers!

Carnivore

2011-03-25T16:24:00.000+08:00

I need to eat 'flesh'!
And i have yet to visit, Tony Roma's! Boo-hoo!!!

Have a great weekends gorgeous!

Falling Down

2011-03-23T13:43:00.000+08:00

It's post-natal hairfall time!!!

Arghhh...when my newborn is around 4months young, my post-natal hairfall starts. Like, so bad that washing my hair feels like going to a battlefield. Literally. It is that scary. I'm using Pantene Hairfall shampoo and conditioner. Sophie is now in the phase of grabbing things, so my hair is the closest 'thing' she can grab, all the time. Milan likes to play my hair or tug to them when she wants to 'play horse' around the house. Oh kiddos, have mercy!

This time, i don't plan to cut my hair. I had a Mia Farrow's haircut when i had the same problem right after Milan was born. Anyway, i don't even have the chance to do so, even if i need to. Nantilah...gotta go now. Laters gorgeous people, xoxo

4 Moons

2011-03-22T09:51:00.001+08:00

Happy 4 months young baby!

- Trying to sit on her own

- Showing interest in food already (but wait lah k sayang)
- Doesn't fancy Papa :(

- Sangat panas baran

- We are bf still :)

- Super clingy

Black Cake

2011-03-21T13:35:00.001+08:00

Remember my 'happy hoart' asked for a cake last few days?

Well, i got her this brownies yesterday;

She loves it. Had half of it last night and another half this morning. And again, she wants some more. But all i have in the fridge is my Green Tea cake;

She tried eating the green tea cake and came to me with a sour face.
"No mommy, mommy eat the green cake. Not nice. Smelly!"
So kesian isn't it?
So i said "ok, ask Papa buy you another cake later ok?"
"Ok, mommy. Ask Papa buy the BLACK CAKE! No green cake, no"

*pics courtesy of google image

Tea

2011-03-21T11:31:00.001+08:00

This is why we went to Amcorp yesterday. I feel like 'the twins' are not producing much milk lately. It could be because i am too tired or too stressed or even both, pfft!

I thought i might as well give it a try. Priced at RM38.90. They have 'Pil Asi' and 'Milk Tea' as well. But lil Sophie was "ngek2ing", so i just grabbed the one that has the word 'increase' on the packet.

It has 2 packets of these (pic) in a box. 10 sachets per pack (size, below pic)

I tried one last night. Sorry to say that the smell is awful. And the taste is not so awesome y'all! I made my own fennel tea when i was breastfeeding Milan. That was like 20% of the ingredients that this one has. This nursing tea contains: fenugreek seeds, fennel seeds, anise seeds, blessed thistle, fenugreek powder and fennel powder. Trust me, none of them tastes close to your favourite drink!

Anyhoos, for our little one...nothing else matters :)

XOXO

Facebook

2011-03-21T09:45:00.002+08:00

For the sake of family back at home (photos of kiddos updates), i need to reactivate my facebook soon. There are so many other options to store and publish photos online, but i guess FB is the best medium.

But i really, really dislike people on the list with:
- fake name
- fake profile pic
- has 2 accounts and wanted to be friend in both
- too many issues with others (thus expressed in statuses)
* i did that sometimes but this one is way too much. Like every updated status!!!

Gonna de-listed some before re-activation! That 'one' person is sure be deleted! Malas nar aku :|

Up, up and away!

2011-03-21T07:03:00.000+08:00

Thanks to Endun for the info about the Hot Air Balloon Fiesta in Putrajaya last weekends. We went there on Saturday. Since the morning flight started at 7-9am, we thought we might not be able to get up so friggin early to catch the morning show. Then, we opted to go and watched the evening flight which started at 6-8pm. We went to Alamanda to have lunch first. My 2nd visit to Alamanda. My first was long time ago, when Alamanda was first opened. Gosh, it was so packed with people. We only managed to get a table at OldTown Kopitiam. That was after few rounds of walking trying to locate Manhattan Fish Market, and even sat at A&W only to find out that i don't fancy any food there :P (except for the rootbeer la).

From Alamanda, we went to Precinct 2 for the balloon show. It was raining already. Haih...and the traffic was horrible. We had to park behind MoF building and walk for quite a distance. My 'happy hoart' was so excited that she screamed "Oh my God! Oh my God! Look at that! There's a cat balloon!". Well, that was the main purpose of going there anyway. To make her happy :). Poor little Sophie. She was clueless about what was going on. We only left Putrajaya at around 8ish.

Andddd....photos;

Happy Hoart!

2011-03-18T13:26:00.003+08:00

My 'happy hoart' asked for a slice of cake this morning. Like "i want a happy birthday cake, Mommy". How on earth can i get her the cake? Giant, Tesco and Secret Recipe are just a stone's throw from here, but we have no car. Even if we have, sorry kiddo. Mommy is so not ready to bring both of you to go out on my own just yet. Then, we settled down with hard boiled eggs instead (her fave!). CAKE and EGG, not too bad. They rhyme perfectly :)

Being a SAHM for almost 4 years now, i am quite ok with my decision. Of course i want to go back to the career field. Maybe next year, maybe next next year. It depends, if we don't have no3 by then. Speaking of no3, i am not on any birth control plan yet. One, my menses is not here yet. After almost about 4 months. Maybe, because i am breastfeeding. I know, quite risky right? And two, i am not sure which method should i be using. At first i thought i want to do a 3 years contraceptive implant. But after doing some research on that method, my main concern is the risk of having a scar. And in my case scar is keloid. I did asked my SIL who is a nurse about pills. I have to wait until my menses comes then only can i start on pills. In the meantime, let just say we are not quite 'shielded' :P

Hallelujah...it's Friday again! And we have already plan for our weekends getaway! (get away from the house je). Wishing you gorgeous people, a happy and jolly weekends. Till then, xoxo...or wait, let me give you big ones, XOXO!

Pray For Japan

2011-03-16T15:06:00.001+08:00

Earthquake

Tsunami

Nuclear crisis

Food and Economy crisis

Cold weather

I can only offer my prayer for fellow global citizens in Japan.

Lord, have mercy.

And i have just read about this . Oh my, she is barely few days older than my baby, Sophie. Miracles do happen.

When 9+3 = 14!

2011-03-16T12:30:00.001+08:00

Nothing fancy on our 3rd wedding anniversary. I didn't get anything for the daddy. Nothing...nada! Only that special post in this blog. And he got me this;

And we had this at home;

If it was not because of this tiny little beautiful 'monster', maybe we could have been having a nice dinner outside;

Ok, got to go. I am googling for something with a search key "delicious microwave oven recipe"...lol!
Chiao, xoxo

Love Like This

2011-03-15T17:14:00.000+08:00

To the man i heart the most and the father of my children, this beautiful song is for you.

Happy anniversary.

* Thanks to dear friends for your thoughtful wishes, xoxo

Goldcoast...Sepang jer!

2011-03-15T12:13:00.002+08:00

Here are the photos from our weekends trip to Sepang Goldcoast :)

When 2 Becomes 4

2011-03-14T15:53:00.000+08:00

When we were still dating, we love to drive outside the town. Now that there are 4 of us, we still do that. And we try to make it a point that we must take the girls out of the house on every weekends. And that does not includes trip to groceries shopping. So yesterday, we went to Sepang Gold Coast. We left the house quite late. Went to a drive-thru KFC nearby and that was our lunch.

We were some sort of unprepared for the beach trip. I brought Milan's swim wear but no toys or hat. Despite of the hot sun, the beach front was quite crowded. Families picnic, bbq and children flying kites. It had a low tide yesterday. The beach looks rather unattractive to me because of the mud. I saw a boy and a girl covered with mud as they came back from playing at the beach. Since we were also "picnic mat"less, the daddy took the car window shade (the one with silver colour type) and walaa...and bought a picnic toys set for Milan. Her latest vocabs from yesterday's outing were: shovel and dig. I guess it was fun for her to be able to play with the sand and on our way back, there were cows and goats along the way. And believe me, it was quite tiring listening to her "pot pet"ing during the 2 hours drive.

Since it was quite near to Banting town, so we went to there too. Even did our groceries shopping at Aimpoint Plaza's Tesco. Then, drive around Banting town. The town is so different than the Banting town that we used to know. There's one huge The Store next to where Megah mart used to be. Gamma now is TenTen.

I'll post photos of the trip in the next entry. Till then, xoxo

Penyakit Dalaman

2011-03-11T08:02:00.003+08:00

My close friends sure know about my "penyakit dalaman" that i had since i was in highschool. Asal hujan or sejuk je, keluar bintat2 macam kena gigit nyamuk. And now, starting from a week before Sophie was born, i have the hives like everyday. The worst was on the day Sophie was born. Just imagine, i was scratching here and there and at the same time i had to deal with the contractions.

Few days after Sophie was born, my brother took me to a dermatologist. I had the skin scan and urine test. The dermatologist confirm that somehow i have problems with my liver and kidneys. There was something written as LEU (i don't know what it is). For normal people the count should be in the range of 1-5, and mine was 500!!! And due to that i have infection in my blood and that cause the hives. I was then prescribed with antibiotics, some creams and Apo-Loratadine (quite mild since i am breastfeeding). It's funny though because we (u know who you are) used to have this theory when we were in Form 3, "orang cantik selalu ada penyakit dalaman kan"..haha. Bengong sungguh...Hopefully this kind of "disease" doesn't goes to my kids. And i hope it is nothing serious.

Oh yeah, i have deactivated my Facebook account. Reason? Nothing major. I just don't feel like spending too much time there. Since Sophie is quite cranky these few days, so i thought i might as well spend more time with them and try to concentrate on Sophie. Plus, some people in FB are quite errmmm...how should i say, pathetic? Statuses are often criticizing others or "cari gaduh". Anyway, it is temporary. When Sophie has settle down a bit, then maybe...just maybe, we'll re-activate the account. Those close friends will know how to get in touch with me.

Oh my, it is end of the week already? What's your plan for the weekends darlings? What ever your plan is, have a fantabulous one. xoxo

Trial & Error

2011-03-09T11:30:00.000+08:00

"Learning doesn't happen from failure itself but rather from analyzing the failure, making a change, and then trying again."

Sophie is my 2nd child and 2nd daughter. And trust me, when they say every child is unique. You can't apply the same method you used for child no1 to no2. Sophie is the opposite of Milan. I have hard time with her. She cried hysterically. And up till now, both me and the father are doing researches (read: googl'ing') on the causes and solutions. Sometimes i just can't help it but to feel sorry for myself. 3 nights in a row, she cried non-stop for at least 15minutes and only stop when she is tired. I was so disappointed.

Everyday, i tell myself to stay calm and try to be a better mother. I may not one of the best but i'll try.

Got to go, Sophie the Great Princess is up already and she is shrieking.

About Life

2011-03-04T19:20:00.000+08:00

* Curly Toes

Model: Sophie

Photographer: Mommy

Everyday, i tell myself to update this blog. And by end of the day, i didn't. I know at some point i'm not that strong mom. Sometimes, i just lost my temper especially with Milan. I wake up at 6.30am every morning. And start with the houseworks. If i'm lucky (both of the girls still sleeping), i'll go back to sleep. Then when any of them wakes up, the 'real' day starts. Shower both of them, depends on who p**ped earlier. If none, then it's Sophie. Then, breakfast for Milan. Simple lunch and dinner. Errr...i don't remember when is the last time i had rice. But, to ensure that the milk supply is enough, i have nestum and drink lots of water. Well, despite of the 'chaos'ness that i have to go through everyday, i'm happy that i look after my own kids myself. I teach them my own way. And i like it that way...

Ok, Sophie is crying and Milan wants me to play her "twinkle2 little star" already :)

Till then, lots of loves.

Wants and Needs

2011-02-25T09:50:00.001+08:00

I want to:

* colour my hair
* see dentist
* colour my nail
* jog
* go to the beach
* walk in the park
* meet them girls :)

I need to:
# pack
# potty train Milan
# start working out
# eat healthily
# read more
# write more
# LOVE more

till then darlings...enjoy your weekends. I'll sure love mine. XOXO

Planning

2011-02-24T22:16:00.000+08:00

Planning for 3rd one already? Yeah, i wish. I would loveee to. But at the moment, i'm pretty much occupied with the two girls.

Actually, i am planning for my life in KL. How to handle the two kiddos so that everyone is happy. Happy in a sense that houseworks can be done, the girls get enough attention and well taken care of. A friend asked me on FB if i already get a helper since it will be only me and the girls. I think i'll be fine, i hope so.

Sophie is fine if she is in her bouncer, provided she is fed and not sleepy. Milan is quite a challenge. All kids her age are. So, need to plan more activities for her. Houseworks will need to be done early in the morning when they are still sleeping. I'll sleep when they sleep. Simple lunch will do. Oatmeal is good enough. Will think of what to cook for Milan. All that taken into account, here i am silently crossing fingers with hope of losing some of those flabs. I am fine with how i look waist up. Waist down...errrr. Still so much work to be done. Seriously, i look like i am having another baby!

No. One

2011-02-23T16:45:00.003+08:00

Finally my fear of not being able to love my two girls equally, submerged. These days i'm paying more attention to the little one. I am spending most of the times with lil Sophie. That leaves Milan either play on her own or 'bothering' the grandma or her aunt Babra. And of course, more dramas to get attention. Can't put the blame on her. I feel sorry for her instead. I try to spend more time with her when Sophie sleeps. Try to, at least hug her or give her a kiss.

The other night, i was watching them sleeping (my favourite 'show' before bedtime :) ). Then i just realised that Milan has grown a lot. Her hair is longer, she's taller. And then i find myself crying. And i texted the daddy. And his reply was, he felt the same too. She is no more a clingy girl like she use to be. She's fine when i am not around. And that to me, happened too soon. By the time i thought she wants me to stay with her on her first day at school, she might just ask me to go home. And then, she'll want to go to school with her friends. And maybe spending time in her own room. I was thinking, so much precious time wasted now. And i don't want to regret about it later. Difficult aye?

She is becoming more chatty. Yesterday, she was trying to enter her aunt Babra's room (locked anyway). "Knock, knock" she said. Still no answer. "Babra, open the door. Babra...Babra". Yes, sometimes she missed the word "aunty". Then, still no answer "Babra, please..please...please...please..please". Haha, that did the trick. Babra opened the door for her. She knows the magic word already peeps!

She even said this to me:

"Mommy is beautiful, nice. No...no...Mommy is good girl"

How sweet is that? Milan darling, Mommy miss us...

Sophie - Month 3

2011-02-23T10:32:00.000+08:00

Baby Sophie is already 3 months 'young'!

Trying to grab things

A happy baby, of course

Goes "oooo", "aaaa" and adorable toothless grin

Starting to suck her fingers and can lift her body up already.

Tomorrow we are going for her 3rd months immunization at a local clinic here.

Sleeping through the night, only wakes up for feeding.

Fully breastfed still :)

Happy 3 months 'young' sayang, xoxo: Mommy

Last Night

2011-02-19T11:12:00.000+08:00

Last night, i was having a dinner with in-laws and FIL's friend&wife. Half way thru, Mrs Pearce called. Ignoring the social etiquette for a moment (so i thought), i picked up the call. And she asked me about the shocking news! I was stunned. Didn't know how should i react. Then, followed by few more calls. This time, i totally forgot about the etiquette. FIL's friend is a 'someone', but so sorry uncle...

Darling, so sorry for your loss. Our thoughts and prayers are with you always..

Blessings in disguise

2011-02-17T16:57:00.001+08:00

Sophie is a blessing in disguise...thanked heaven for that.

If it wasn't because i was pregnant with her, we might have not even thinking of going back and settle down in Malaysia yet. And that makes us still in Bahrain. Bahrain pulak tengah kacau sekarang ni. Then, thanks God that Papa pun dah selamat sampai and works in KL. From FB, i saw some friends in Bahrain put up statuses as "helicopter berlegar2, bunyi tembakan etc.". So far they are all fine. Baru dah tengok photos yg husband of a friend put in FB. Pasal Seef Mall! A mall that we used to go to. The mall where Milan watched her first move. Terkejut tengok the photos. Hancur satu Seef Mall! They broke in!!! Kosong je semua kedai...Mothercare sekali!

Ala, this little Miss Blessings dah ngek2...gotta go!

**correction: actually the pictures are from Egypt. Not Bahrain!..suspense je.

Wallauwei...

2011-02-09T00:01:00.000+08:00

Memang wallauwei sungguh...malasnya nak update. Serius banyak setori nak habaq mai...

Sophie
Dah nak masuk 3 bulan dah si comel tecik, Copi Leavu papa ni. Tapi badan nampak cam very petite. My anak2 memang semuanya petite2. Seronok bila tengok anak orang lain debab je kan. Takpela, sihat selamat oklah tu. Sophie ni macam very the clingy. Sometimes, i think she can even smells me when she's asleep. Tinggal kejap je, terus terjaga. Now, Copi dah hisap pacifier, sebabnya mommy tak larat. Dia nak nyonyot je, even dah habis feeding. Bestlah sekarang ni, Sophie nak boleh gelak2, gugu gaga. Senyum2, jerit2. Malam tido je, except nangis nak nenen.

Milan
Ya ampun Milan ni...nakal sangat. Remember last time i pernah cakap, she'll get scared if i say "see mommy's eyes, mommy's angry"...sekarang no..no..no...it's "see MILAN'S EYES, MILAN'S ANGRY"...serius rasa nak pitam masa first time dengar. And yesterday, she started to treat her sister like a doll. Senyap2 dia bagi air minum dalam cawan to Sophie. Habis basah si kecik tu. Sampai besar biji mata Sophie, terkejut agaknya. Then petang tadi dia letak liquid for main tiup2 bubbles tu dkt mulut Sophie. "Sophie blow"...memang kan. And me being the "cepat tangan", terus "pap" her. She cried. Kesian sangat, bukannya dia tau pun adik dia tak reti lagi. Cepat2 i cakap "sorry Milan, Sophie doesn't know how to blow bubbles yet". Haritu, she cried because i "pap" her. Though she almost cried, she said "see Milan cry". Adoh, sayu je suara. Kesian sangat. She's very chatty nowadays, then she likes to talk on the phone. The opening conversation would always be "Hello...ohhh...".

Me and Mi Amor
Papa dah balik KL and starts work already.

Mommy pulak, macam biasa. Duduk rumah, layan anak2. Layan facebook. Layan perasaan yang kadang2 tak berapa nak betul, haha. Menaikkan berat badan. Orang breastfeeding selalunya akan kurus kan, tapi i ni nampak gayanya "no chance" la kot. Selalunya i'm the one that cook here. And normally i don't really eat what i cook. Bukan sebab tak sedap ke apa kan...but dunno why lepas masak je, rasa kenyang semacam. Tapi sekarang kan, lepas masak je, cepat2 nak makan. Baby fat ada lagi tu hah...huhu. Bahawasanya, baju2 pre-pregnancy dah pun diturunkan kepada adik and cousins. Slowly la kena shop baju2 baru with saiz ya "baru" jugak. Harap2 nanti dekat KL bolehlah control makan sikit. Tapi, paed budak2 ni cakap, takyah pantang2 makan, makan balance diet. Affect the milk quality. Entahlah...tgklah macam mana.

Ok...tata. nak tido.

Neither Here Nor There

2011-01-30T22:27:00.000+08:00

I am missing my late grandma. To me, she was my best listener. Always comforting. No bias opinion and no judgement. Too many things going on my mind. Talking to someone the other day makes things worse. And today, i couldn't help myself. Feeling empty. Took the girls into the room, switched the light off and i cried my heart out. Some things are better left unsaid. More often than not, i keep things to myself. I don't know what went wrong but i know i could be happier. Whatever it is, i can live without everyone or anything but not these 2 angels.

Us today. Sophie's baptism at St Joseph's Cathedral, Kuching.

Tensi

2011-01-28T11:53:00.000+08:00

Tension ke? adala sikit. Kalau dulu, tension pasal dilemma on breastfeeding vs bottle feeding. Sekarang ni tensi sebab Sophie langsung tak boleh kena tinggal. Tinggal kejap je "mekkk...". So many times, i have to rush my showertime. Itupun kadang2 orang cakap i lengah2kan masa. Slow sangat they said. Hmmm...missing mom. My mom would let me have my 'me' time at least to have a decent shower. She'll try to entertain Sophie. Not all the time Sophie needs me. Kdg2 cranky sebab nak tido, tak semestinya nak nenen je. Tp, tu la...only my mom je knows that. Yesterday, i went out without combing my hair. Makeup? apa tu? hehe...It strucked me that "this is too much". I need to look good (decent,at least...) to feel good.

Nak jumpa kawan pun susah sekarang. I want mom!

Fuyohhh!

2011-01-26T01:36:00.000+08:00

Adoila...punyalah bersawang blog ni.

Tiba2 memang rasa kena mengaku that i don't have spare time to update this blog. FB pun normally check thru mobile je. Itupun kalau si kecik Sophie tu dah tido.

Si tecik ni dah masuk 2 bulan. Dah pandai "gugu gaga" bila kena agah. Neck pun dah strong sikit. Weighs at 5kgs. Sekarang dah masuk buai. Sebabnya, dia tak akan tido selain dari dipeluk mommy. So, susah i nak buat kerja. Err...baca tak the previous entry? We are still breastfeeding. And this time it is exclusively already. Yay! So far so good la. Nangis je, sumbat. Takmo dah fikir banyak2. Masalahnya bila Mommy nak jalan2 cuci mata la. Dahla most malls takde nursing room kan. Twice dah i feed her in the fitting room, berdiri pulak tu. Takpela kan... :)

Si kakak pulak syoklah duduk Kuching ni. Macam2 aktiviti dia. Petang td tolong her grandma water the plants. Acara penutupannya, she watered herself. She is so into music nowadays. Boleh dikatakan setiap masa, she'll be singing. Lagu terbaru are: Impossible (Shontelle) and G6 (VIP). Then this girl sangatlah semangat ke'malaysian'an. She must have LAH in her sentences. Friendly tu mmg her trademark la kan. Ntah sapa2 dia says "hello". Then "bye, see you tomorrow". Ayat2 wajib.

Ok takat tu je la dulu k. Bila dah lama tak update ni, cerita banyak sangat. Bila dah banyak, tak tau nak mulakan macam mana. Nanti2 update lagi la...chiao!

Happy Heart

2011-01-10T23:25:00.000+08:00

'Happy heart' is how Milan describes any heart shapes with bright colours.

Reading this entry from Puteri makes me wanna blog about the same thing too. I've been wanting to write about my experience bf'ing' Sophie but i put so much thought that i ended up not writing anything at all. I truly understand the pressure every mother has to face when it comes to breastfeeding. And i don't want to be that kind of woman who make it sound so easy.

Like all mothers, i am very supportive of breastfeeding. I support my friends too. And i talked to two mothers whom breastfed their daughters for 2 years. Homemaker and no EBM. Direct feeding all the way. And let me share with you their success key: "Fikiran kena kosong masa breastfeeding. Let it happen naturally". And i believe them. When i was bf'ing' Milan i keep on watching her anxiously. Whether there's milk flowing out, whether it is enough until next feeding. So many things going through my head.

And my milk don't come early. Only on the 3rd day. And adalah suara2 sumbang mengatakan "you ni tak cukup makan, tu la takda milk", "makan ikan yu then your milk will come out" etc...Well, this time i take things easily. I buat pekak je. Sebabnya, orang yang bagi nasihat tu tak breastfeeding langsung pun. And then, i memang takde dah sibuk2 nak cari forum ke discussion website about breastfeeding. It's true what Puteri mentioned in her blog, if you baca apa yg those people write there memang pressure nak be on par with them. So, i avoid those sites.

Breastpump pulak. My hand pump, Avent apa ntah tu macam dah tak elok. Macam dah tak kuat je grip. So, i've decided to use my own pump, the best in town. Jenama SOPHIE. Takde pump lain yang dapat menandingi pump ni. Very efficient. Confirm takde engorgement. Again, from forums and blogs, i used to compare my EBM amount with others. Kan ada kan, orang yg pump boleh dapat 8oz or more sekali pump. Tangkap gambar nih. Again, i ignored those.

Up until now, masih ada lagi la suara2 sumbang. Like "ada ke ur milk ni?", "cukup ke ur milk tu?". As long as my girl don't cry her heart out to show she needs more, that's mean she has enough. Lantaklah, kadang2 memang perasan masa dia suckle tu takdalah air susu melimpah2 kan. Ignore lagi.

Pasal formula pulak. Sophie is supplemented with formula. Kalau betul2 macam dia nangis tak tahu sebab and looks like she is hungry. And guess what, i don't fell bad at all. Thanks to Papa. For his support on that part. Antara ayat2 yang memberi semangat untuk tak feel down "...we are not those people and it is not the end of the world if you can't do it". And there is one article he got for me too, saying something like "the baby don't really need to fully breastfeed to get all the benefit from bf". Kira kalau boleh fully bf, betterla. Tapi kalau campur2 pun takpe. It is just that kalau campur ni, slowly will affect production je.

Sophie is 3kgs upon birth and during her 1month check up, she was 4.1kgs. And she is 99% breastfed. So, bolehlah kan. Kira cukuplah my milk yg taklah sampai mencurah2. And we are still happily breastfeeding and there are times when my mom insisted on feeding her with formula. And lucky me, Sophie hates the rubber nipples. So, everytime she is given formula mesti macam tak reti nak hisap, so byk terkeluar2. Then, she hates pacifier too! Tapi, bila takda pacifier...memang kena layan her needs to suckle. Like very very frequent. Takpelah, bukan pegi mana2 pun i ni kan.

I don't set or aim any time frame so as to give myself "fikiran kosong". Again, like Puteri said, nak breastfeed baby sampai titisan terakhir. So, if you are a mother that needs to feed your baby with formula, don't feel bad about it. It won't make you a bad mommy ya. Chin up!!!

Loves...

Still here

2011-01-08T10:00:00.000+08:00

We are still here.
Pengakuan ikhlas: Memang malas sangat nak update blog ni.

Among past events that happened in our lives:

- Sophie is 1 mos+ already

- Milan's 2nd birthday on 26.12.2010

Other than that, i am pretty occupied with the girls. Milan just recovered from fever and still coughing. So are mommy and Sophie. I guess it must be because of Miri's weather. Kejap panas, kejap hujan. Next Saturday, the daddy will come and then we'll go to Kuching. Moving places again. We don't like! Hopefully KL will be our 'nesting' place for few years at least.

Till then (don't know when :) )

Sleepyhead...NAH!

2010-12-20T00:10:00.000+08:00

I am just clueless on Sophie's sleeping pattern. I think she just 'hate' sleeping. She doesn't sleep during the day. Doesn't sleep as in not sleeping for more than 10mins. And now it's 4mins past midnight and her eyes are as bright as the morning sunshine.

When she cries, we'll nurse and nurse and nurse. A never ending cycle. Cry, nurse, sleep, cry, nurse, sleep and the cycle goes on and on. I don't bother looking at myself in the mirror for the time being. There's no point of doing so i guess. Eye bags and fuzzy hair, of course.

I'm feeling sleepy but not the little princess. Got to go.

Baby Blues

2010-12-15T19:06:00.000+08:00

Oh, i am feeling exhausted.

Mom, sis and sis in law went out. And i am home with my two girls. Both need my attention. Sophie will only sleep when she is breastfeeding. She hates pacifier. Milan keeps on singing loudly that she wakes her sister up. Bukan calang2 lagu or nursery rhymes. "Love the way you lie" nyer chorus ok. sabar je lah...

Pendek kata, i am quite busy. There are times i had to cut through my conversation with the daddy when he called. Sometimes, i can't even pick up calls. My priority are my girls. Those phone calls can wait. I hope those people could understand. Just bear with me yah...

I feel like going out but i can't leave the girls. Especially Sophie. Lagi sebulan Papa datang...

Just A Mom

2010-12-09T15:22:00.000+08:00

Some say i'm a tough Mom being away from the husband. Beranak sendiri2. Well, i am not that tough though. There are times i feel very fragile. But those girls are my rock. And so does Papa. Though he is miles away, his undivided supports keep me going sober. Love them to bits!

Life is beautiful indeed :)

100% energy

2010-12-07T11:42:00.000+08:00

Kakak is 23 months 'young' already and baby Sophie is 2weeks 1day today. And Mommy needs more energy. Single parenting is 100% about energy.

I really want to blog some more but i can't. Sophie is not the type of newborn that love to sleeps. She will only sleep if she is cuddled. I hardly find time to drink (thus affects the breastmilk flow too). This morning i was having breakfast while holding her on the other arms.

Kakak pulak makin nakal. She's a bully. She bites, pulls her cousin's hair.

Nevertheless, they are my precious treasure :)

She is MARY SOPHIE

2010-11-30T19:59:00.001+08:00

She's a week old already :)

* i have something to share. About my motivation during the 'battle' in the labor room. I was picturing myself and my two girls taking a studio photoshoot for this Christmas!!! I'm so gonna make it happen. I know what to wear already and the girls tutu skirts are in progress...woohooo!!!

JPN

2010-11-28T12:01:00.001+08:00

I haven't apply for Sophie's birth certificate yet. Actually, i did went to JPN with my brother, Arthur yesterday. At first, pegi secara 'gamble' je since tak sure JPN buka ke tak. My other brother, Julian told us JPN is opened on Saturday as well. Just when we reached there, the main door was closed and there was another door half opened. Arthur went up and then called me, telling that they are opened.

On the day that we were discharged from MCMC, as usual mmg banyak paperwork kena settle (just like any other places). After paying all the bills, a nurse came with Sophie's baby card etc. And there was one 'extra' form to be filled in for the birth certificate. "Surat Sumpah" something...i asked "is this a new rule?". And "yes" i was told. It was actually for baby born in private hospital. The rule was meant to certify that the baby is of your own. Sebab kan banyak kes jual bayi sekarang ni. So, kenalah angkat sumpah bagai.

Back to the JPN. I was so excited to see that the counter was not crowded and again trying my best luck to just register without filling in the "surat sumpah" form. Manalah tau boleh lepas ke kan. Even the nurses at the Tudan Polyclinic told me to just ignore the form first. Sbb semua org tak sure about it. When at the counter, the officer checked my form and sekali notice the surat sumpah was missing, Then, i was told to buy a RM10 duty stamp and get the "surat sumpah" completed at either the magistrate court or from Pesuruhjaya Sumpah at the resident office. Court and resident office pulak tutup semalam. Tak settle lah lagi birth cert Sophie. We'll see tomorrow.

Next entry i plan to write about confinement and breastfeeding (of which i didnt manage to exclusively did again...).

The Birth Stories

2010-11-24T13:58:00.002+08:00

While Sophie is asleep and big sister, Milan is being cranky because she is having a nappy rash. And i have been 'prohibited' from carrying her. So, here i am lepaking on the bed. No sitting for too long for me. Kena sound terus.So, kena berbaring-baringan.

I'll try to describe on Sophie's birth stories.

The Beginning
As Sophie was overdue for almost a week, Dr Lee advised that i go for an induce. To avoid any complications and me on the other hand can't stand the swollen ankles. Appointment was set on the 22 Nov. At first i wanted to choose the date. Either 20.11 or 21.11 (Daddy's choice; his birthday is on 21.06). But then i still putting so much hope to deliver my baby without being induced.

Early 22.11 morning around 7.50am, my bro Arthur, mak n bapak accompanied me to the clinic. Mom in law waited there already. VE was done and Dr Lee said i have bigger chance of delivering the baby the normal way, i.e: tak yah caesar ke apa. I didn't know that i was then 2cm dilated. I was then ushered to the maternity ward at 3rd floor. Changed clothes and straight away on pitocin drip at 8.40am. This time, only the drip without the insertion of pill (like Milan's case).

The Contractions
At around 9am i start to feel the mild contractions. Which was bearable. That was when i was facebooking and what not lah kan. Then, at 10am Dr Lee came, VE again and tried to break my water bag. However, he didn't managed to do it since the placenta membrane was too thin already and Sophie's head was too near to the edge. Meaning, if he proceeds to break the waterbag, he could hurt Sophie's head. So, i had to wait for the waterbag to break on its own. At around 11.50am, the contractions became too intense and closer, 2 minutes apart. Again Dr Lee came and did another VE, 6cm dilated. I was "hee...hee..huu"ing already. Too much to take, to me lah kan. Then, at around 12.50pm, i just couldn't open my eyes. My right hand was squeezing my mom's hand and the other hand was grabbing the bed rail. Another VE done, and 6cm still!!! like?!!

The Battle Field
Then, at around 1.30pm, i was already 8cm dilated and being pushed away to the labour room. But, i know i'm not gonna have the baby soon. I don't even have the urge to push. So, lepaklah dlm labour room tu. Around 2.50pm, Dr Lee came and tried to have me to push the baby, i was then too tired. Banyak kali sangat push but Sophie's head was still so high. But the contraction pain was too strong that i thought it might break my pelvic bones apart. I was tossing and turning on the labour bed. Berpeluh2...Dr Lee give me a half an hour break. Just relax he said. Homaigod, i don't know how to 'just relax' at the stage. My breathing was uncontrollable. And it came across my mind that some mothers describe delivering their 2nd baby as "azab" than their first. And i was one of these mothers. Just when i had the urge to push, i tried to push. And yet, nothing was happening. Until, up to one point, i was so frustrated and started to cry. And soon after that, i became a drama mama. Begging for an emergency c-sect. But Dr Lee refused to submit to my silly command, saying that i have great chance of having the baby soon. Then, at 3.40pm, he came again, and this time he really want me to try my very best. "You can't be tired. I know you can do it" he said. Together with 2 nurses, 2 nursing students, Dr Lee really worked hard in assisting me to bring Sophie out. As i pushed, the 2 nurses pushed my belly from top, the 2 nursing students hold my head and shoulder and Dr Lee did what he does best. At some point, i was out of breath. But i took a quick breath and continue to push again. As i feel Sophie's head was half way out, i suddenly have the strength to push harder and out came the head. Another quick breath and long hard push, her shoulder was out. And then, i can hear Sophie's voice. What a great relief!! And soon after that, Dr Lee told me "see, u can do it. Luckily i tak c-sect you. Sayang if u nak c-sect just now".

It's Over
I almost fell asleep after i have checked on Sophie. So very much look like the bigger sister. Only Sophie hair is thicker and darker. Then, Dr Lee continued with the 'ground work'. Taking out the placenta, stitching (the 'best' part) and cleaning the inside. Well, i was too tired to care. I was busy posing with Sophie. Anyway, only little 'damage' was done. Stitching pun tak banyak. Tak macam Milan kena 3rd degree tear kan. Then, Sophie was brought down to the nursery for cleaning and i was pushed back to my room. I thought i was too tired and will fall asleep straight away. Well, i was busy talking with my mom and my mom in law. Then my brothers came. Chit chatting again. Sampai ke sudah tak tido. With Sophie keeps on crying for feeding every single hour.

Oh yeah, in case some of you might wonder. How was Milan coping? On the day itself, i left the house too early, and she was still sleeping. I changed her nappy first then give her milk. Right after i was done changing the nappy, she was awake. So i had to pretend sleeping beside her. Then just when i wanted to make a move, she opened her eyes and gave me the sweetest smile "Mommy..", then get back to sleep. The whole day she was under the good hands of my sister. She did asked "where's Mommy?", and she was told "Mommy works". And she lived with that idea until the next afternoon when i see her. And to entertain her, my sister and cousins brought her to KFC, playgrounds etc. And nobody dares to say "NO" to her. Fearing she might break out and cry and start to look for Mommy.

The first thing she said when she saw me, was "there's Mommy". Then, "Mommy wears socks", hehe. She touched my "not so flat yet" belly few times. Even her cousin asked me "why is your belly still so big? How many baby actually you have?". Eee...laser sungguh mulut budak pompuan kecik tu! LOL!

Well, that's how my experience bringing Sophie to the world. Thanked God for all the great wonders. And now, my duty as "ibu tinggal" has begun and there are two girls to deal with. I can say i am on alert mode, around the clock. Till then...

Princess Sophie

2010-11-22T22:45:00.000+08:00

I have safely delivered Sophie today, 22.11.2010 at 3.51pm. A 3kgs and 55cm baby girl.

Will update more with the whole delivery process soon. She's here again for feeding :)

Nest No More

2010-11-20T21:01:00.000+08:00

I am done with nesting.

This time i don't really have much thing to do. Most probably i was busy entertaining Milan all the time. And doing house chores. Kalau tengah mandi, mesti nak scrub satu bathroom, cuci toilet sekali. Lantai pun kalau boleh nak mop 3 times a day. And again, macam dengan Milan...suka sangat nak baking. Only because this time my ankles can't tolerate standing for too long. I used to bake kek lapis when i was carrying Milan. This time, i baked cheesecake. Chocolate cheesecake and pumpkin cheesecake. Kebetulan my mom came from kampung bawak pumpkin. Sayang jugak sebab nak buat lauk, agak kurang 'laku'. So, buatlah pumpkin cheesecake.

One more day to go then i'll be officially a mom of two. My swollen ankles are not so swollen anymore. And as at today, there's still no sign (bloody show) yet. Kena kuatkan semangat untuk induction this Monday. For the last few days i have this itchiness. Starting from my neck, then arms, buttocks...when scratched it will become hives. I did some readings on it and found cholestasis and PUPP. Well, since i'll be induced on Monday, i don't think i need to worry so much. All i did were applying some steroid based cream and take piriton before going to bed. I hope i am making the right decision :)

Tomorrow kena check hospital bags lagi sekali. In case ada yang tertinggal. Hopefully by Tuesday morning, we'll be home with little Tigger...hardly wait!

If favorable

2010-11-19T11:49:00.000+08:00

I didn't know about the term 'favorable' being used in the cervic opening. I was requesting for an induce tomorrow or Sunday. Then the doc said, it can be done provided the cervic is 'favorable' i.e ready to be 'opened'. His main concern was if the cervic is not favorable, i can end up being caesared.

And he doesn't want to wait any longer as it might put the baby at risk. After 41 weeks, there's risk that the placenta doesn't functions as it should be. I.e: not providing any nutrients or oxygen for the baby. Then, the baby might grow bigger and makes the labor process more difficult.

Well, we'll see how things go on Monday. Thanks for your concerns. Friends have been asking if the baby arrives yet. Even Hazel called yesterday :).

Belum

2010-11-18T21:03:00.000+08:00

Tak bersalin lagi :)

I have appointment to induce labor next Monday, 22/11/10.

Hope everything will be fine. Please pray for me and my little one.

Will update as soon as i am home with my girls.

xoxo

When Oh When...

2010-11-12T08:37:00.001+08:00

As at now, Tigger is still wiggling in my belly. And she is showing no sign of coming out pretty soon. Went to meet Dr Lee on Monday. Tigger is around +- 2.8kgs and Mommy's 62kgs. The first thing the Doc asked was if i wanted to be induced since i have reach my 38 weeks. And i told him i want to wait until i have no more reason to wait any longer. I.e: up to 41 weeks. According to him, since i have history of overdue pregnancy, there's a chance that this pregnancy will also overdue. If it is overdue, then the last date would be 24th Nov. And maybe i can't wait until 24th, since i'm having bad swollen ankles. Very swollen. I barely walk towards the evening. Literally, i have to drag my feet and walk. Yes, it is that swollen and it feels heavy.

Till then darlings, am not feeling comfortable sitting down for too long. And standing will just makes my feet grow.

Yesterday and Today

2010-11-07T15:05:00.001+08:00

Just got back from a friend's wedding at Dewan Suarah Miri. Macam biasa, kalau wedding kawan2 mestila ala2 mini gathering. Ada Suzina, Wedy, Maz, Ija, Khaty, Nurhidayah and son, Siti, Habibah and Juji. Semua nak berborak. Suara plak takleh nak kontrol. Sampaikan tersasul bila musik background stop, tetiba ada suara yg ter'menonjol'. Kena pulak duduk sebelah Maz and Ija. Geng sekelas dulu. Memanglah kan...buat lawak tak senonoh. But, thanks to them sebab tolong ambikkan makanan. Diaorg kesian tgk mommy yang kaki bengkak dgn Milan yg nak didukung je. Masa nak turun tingkat bawah, aunty Wedy yg tolong dukung. Thanks dear...macam tu la keadaan ibu tinggal tapi ada ramai kawan2 yang prihatin.

Esok pg check up 38weeks. Tadi masa attend wedding, kawan2 cakap my perut tak 'turun' lagi. Tp, hidung dah 'kembang'. Alahai, akan ter'overdue' lagi kah nanti? Kalau overdue and everything's fine, confirmlah kena induce lagi. Lemah longlai terus bila fikir pasal induce. Mak kata, kalau have to be induced lagi, request for caeser je la. Oh no...no..no, caeser was never my choice unless atas sebab2 keselamatan both baby and mommy. Kira kalau emergency, terpaksalah kan.

Yesterday, went to a cousin house in Taman Tunku. Wah, masuk je rumah dia. Terus terpersona. Sebab, her interior design is exactly like what i want my house to be. Tapi, angan2 je la. Then, pegi merayau2 ke rumah baru my brother plak. Also around that area. Actually, memang berhasrat nak beli satu rumah kat Miri. Ye lah, asal balik je kena menumpang rumah my brothers. Anak2 diaorg pun dah besar2. Takdelah diaorg komplen ke apa, just that kalau ada rumah sendiri lagi seronoklah. Bila fikir pasal tu, terus rasa nak kerja balik. Kena aktifkan balik fund dlm EPF tu.

Then, around senja macam tu, visit my cousin nyer house. Around that area jugak. She's married to an Indian. This cousin is from my bapak's side. They speak Berawan. To which, i have to shamelessly admit i tak faham. Sikit2 bolehlah, but sikit as in very limited words. So, we conversed in malay instead. Dia pun gerun tengok my belly besar sangat..huhu. I guess the size of my belly explains my very swollen ankles and growing feet. Tadi attend wedding pun pakai selipar je. Tu je yang muat. Selipar comel la tapi. Bukan selipar getah jepun tu ye..

Haih, yang flu ni lagi satu hal. tak habis2. Blocked nose ni yang merisaukan ni. Nanti nak breathe in, breathe out masa nak push macamana kan?

Ok. tu je la kot :)

Minus One

2010-10-31T15:41:00.000+08:00

I've been wanting to bake chocolate cheesecake. Not that i'm craving to eat one. I don't eat chocolate. But i feel bored of doing nothing, and to me, baking is the best thing to do to kill my spare time. I've got all the ingredients except butter. Seriously, i thought i bought one stick already. Couldn't find it in the fridge though. Tundalah baking plan, see lah maybe next week.

Haven't pack my hospital bags yet. I need to find the bags first. Shopping bags banyaklah dekat dapur tu. Tak kan nak pakai luggage bags size XL lak gi hospital kan.

Okies, running out of ideas already... :). Till then

Don't Hit It, Just Yet

2010-10-29T09:09:00.000+08:00

Don't hit the panic button just yet...

My family members are so very kan cheong la i tell you. It's not that i don't like it but i do feel rimas sometimes when people around me can't remain calm. My aunts are so worried that we are staying alone in the house while others go to work. Takut i terberanak when nobody's in the house. My aunt has offered to come and stay in her place this week until i deliver. Mak called yesterday, to check whether i'm still ok. She is coming this Sunday after my 2nd cousin whose due date was on 24.10 has delivered baby girl yesterday's morning.

My due date is on the 17.11. I'll be grateful if Tigger decides to come out early. Of which, i doubt it. Though she is my 2nd baby. Anyway, it is not like the baby is just gonna pop out as and when you have your first contraction. So, there's no need to panic, really.

But to all of them, their main concern is Milan. Since she is still can't be away from me for too long. Anyways, like my aunts who has experience with clingy child while having another baby...their words of encouragement is GOD knows the best when the time comes. :)

22months and 36weeks

2010-10-27T14:53:00.000+08:00

Just a quick update, i'm so 'busy' nesting. Tigger at her 36weeks now. Just finished a round of clothes washing today. There are 2 more baskets to go. And i have to wash one a day as it rains every morning for 2 days already. Hanging the newborn's clothes takes me 2 times longer than hanging adult's clothing. Nak kelip kan those tiny booties and mittens pun cukup lama.

Tigger is around 2.6kgs already. Mommy's at 61kgs. I really can't wait to meet her. Same goes to Papa. Papa cakap "nak tgk rupa". Last week i had swollen ankles, very swollen. Now it's gone. Frequent braxton hicks. Done with the kids necessities. Diapers, milk stock for Milan and etc. Hospital bags should be ready by early next week.

Kakak Milan is already 22mos. Masters the shapes and now learning on weather. Her learning progress is quite slow here because she is more interested on playing with her cousins. Her current favourite songs are Bad Romance (Lady Gaga), Baby (ke apa nama lagu by JB tu) and classic Burung Kakak Tua. Here's how it goes, Milan's version.

"Borong kakak tua, xxxxxxxxx...di jendela,
Nenen sudah tua
Ghighinya tenggal dua
Letchun..letchun..letchun..o lalalala... (3x)
Borong kakak tua"

Ok, that's about it. She is requesting for "lady gaga song...o..o..oo..." already.

The Daughters

2010-10-15T15:57:00.000+08:00

Frankly speaking, i have nothing interesting to blog about. My everyday live revolves around me, myself, and my two daughters.

Daughter no.1 has become so amusing day by day. This morning, she woke up and ask for "nen su" (nenen susu or milk). So, i took my sweet time to tie my hair before slowly got up of the bed. By that time, she was already waited at the door. And out of the sudden, she screamed "MOMMYYYY...NOOOO, no mommy, no sleep". And she moved her pointing finger. She must have thought that i forgot about her requested for milk and thought that i wanted to go back to sleep. What a sunshine she brings into my life :) .

Meanwhile, daughter no.2 is moving happily inside. Putting pressure onto mommy's pelvic bone already. Somehow it feels awesome. It makes me wanting to see her as soon as possible. I can't really describe how it feels though.

** Dear friends, i do read ur blog entries but somehow my lazy bum refrains me from dropping comments...xoxo

Counting

2010-10-13T11:22:00.001+08:00

Honestly, i can't wait to deliver baby Tigger. I know the feeling when you miss 'the-so-very-pregnant' moment, but right now i just feel so tired. So heavy. Luckily Milan seems to take things better and becomes more independent. She seldom asks to be carried anymore. Only, once in a while she wants "hug Mommy". Hug kaki Mommy pun jadilah, if Mommy tgh standing doing something. Seriously pity her for not enjoying her "wholly & exclusively" moment for long. So sorry dear, Mommy is getting older and can't afford to wait any longer.

I have not done any shopping yet for Tigger. Since Milan's newborn clothes are still good. And there are some hands down clothes from the cousins too. Only need to wash them first. Will do that on the first week of November. Together with the hospital bags. This time, there will be 3 bags to bring. Mommy's, Milan's and Tigger's. Milan's will be inclusive of toys and sweets...hehe. For distractions when Mommy is away in the labor room.

Those are the plans for the BEFORE event. DURING the event i need to concentrate on Tigger and let my family members handle Milan. And there are so much things to do for the AFTER the event. E.g: Settling the bills, applying for Tigger's birth certificate. Papa will only be here mid-December. So, merasalah Mommy jadi ibu tinggal :P

**macam bosannya entry ni, lol!

Mommy and the girls

2010-10-12T07:04:00.000+08:00

Had my 34weeks check up done yesterday. But before that went to see Milan's paed to check on the 'ulcer-like lump' in her mouth. The paed then referred her to the surgical specialist, Dr Matthew. Berderau darah mommy ok, dengar Dr Matthew mentioned about 'MINOR SURGERY' to remove the lump. But he recommended that we shall wait in case the lump might just disappears. It seems that it doesn't bothers her anyway. I mean, it is not painful or anything. Even Dr Matthew said it is not harmful at all. Dr Chen (the paed) lagilah kelakar. He said, sometimes you can just tie a string around the lump and pull it out. Yes, just like that! Then i told Dr Matthew about it, he said no. We need to have a proper surgical procedure. Just a small incision. What worries me is that, she might have difficulties taking her meals after that surgery. She has just slightly gaining weight to 12kgs. Her last weigh was 10.8kgs. Dengan Mommy yang dah nak beranak ni. So, i'm trying to figure out when is the best time to go for the surgery/ Before or after Dedek's arrival. As for now, i was thinking of AFTER. Since i'll be a lot more 'fit' than i am now.

Here's how the lump looks like. The one that i circled.

As for Dedek, she is all fine. Moving actively. But not as 'naughty' as Milan. She is barely weighs 2kgs now. Dr Lee said she is not that big. Beriya je Mommy risau baby besar kan, hehe. My mom was worried about her size but since the Dr said she is healthy, i'm fine. Nanti dah keluar, we try to 'besarkan' her. Takde lah i control makan ke apa. I think i am just too tired. Kan Milan is so clingy. Nasib baik these few days she is a lil bit ok. But seriously i think my baby bump is so big.

Mommy pulak, this week weighs 60kgs. Expected lah tu, just like my previous pregnancy. Except that this time, no swollen ankles (maybe not yet), no cramps and no backbone pain. Every pregnancy is different, so they say. Selalu sangat berangan nak ada that 'colostrum leaking' tu. Tapi, takde pulak. Ye lah, kan semangat nak fully BF baby this time kan. If can la...nanti put too much hope pun susah jugak sebab in my case with Milan i find it was not that easy to cope with.

My apologies for not updating this blog. I was at my other brother's place and had to rely on the broadband. The service is not so good. So, memudarkan semangat nak ber'internet'. Till then...xoxo

32 weeks

2010-09-27T16:02:00.001+08:00

Just got back from Dr Lee's clinic. Baik sangat Dr Lee tu. Everytime i leave his clinic, i'll be smiling. This time i asked my SIL's sister to accompany us. I need Jen to hold her while the doc does the ultrasound. Milan sits at the baby car seat, front passenger seat. Luckily she was ok. Watching her Ipod all the way. Just that maybe she was a lil bit sleepy on the way back. She became restless and "want to go Mommy".

At 32weeks+:
* Mommy weighs at 59kgs (mamposlah!!!)
* Tigger weighs at 1.6kgs
* All is well
* She's at a head-down position already.

Dr Lee asked if the daddy is here or still in Bahrain. When i told him that the daddy will only comes in December, he said "you have all the supports u needed here so, no need to worry". Terus menambahkan semangat nak beranak :)