Monday, November 09, 2015


Wow...this thing still exists! Hahahaha

I was just checking if my blogspot is still there.And yes,it is! Been really awhile this time. My oh to start now?

Been lingering around instagram and once in a while "meroyan" in twitter.

Back in the howetown. Living a laid back but expensive life. The costs of living in Miri is so high (at least for my standard). I think i could have paid double of the price of groceries i paid in KL. Fresh fruits especially (not to mention,they are hard to find too). No more juicing for me.

Kids are adjusting well. They conversed well in BM already. Brandon included. That little boy is in the T2 phase. Tantrums like no tomorrow. His love for cars and trucks now expanding to toy guns and aeroplane. Not so much of superheroes and cartoon characters this one. Oh, maybe just transformers. Bumblebee to be specific. That too might be because of the cars.

Milan is doing great in school. Quite an impressive results but have yet to get As for BM 😅. Her BM vocabs are not that good. So most of the words are new to her. She somehow turns into a shy girl now. But a chatterbox still. I dont know why i cant stop talking she said.

Sophie, our soft and shy one. Due to some "technical issue", she only started going to kindy on 1Aug. She did cried a little. Whenever i sent her in the morning, the teachers will greet her "chao an Sophie" or "good morning Sophie", only to be replied with a straight face or just a smile if they are lucky. Hahaha. She danced for her school carnival yesterday. She practiced everyday at home and got so excited about it. But of course on the day itself, then only the nervous kick in. Too many people around and Mama was nowhere to be seen (she was backstage and i cant wait with her), so she cried a little and rubbed her eyes. Smeared her eye liner. But she did it anyway.

Myself. I am struggling with the new lifestyle. Rushing almost everyday. School runs, groceries run. I guess i lost few kgs already because i managed to wear my old pants&jeans (have to wear belt). So,yay!

Dad is immobile now. He had his 2nd stroke attack on 18Aug. His right side of the body is weak. It affects his memory too. The first month after the attack was the hardest for me at least. I cried almost every night. I felt sorry for him. How sometimes he will shed tears. We all know, daddies are the strongest in the family. And when you see them in tears, it is unbearable. Our lives totally changed. He dont talk that much anymore. I remembered the last conversation i had with him was at dinner. Even then, he was all quiet. That could be the sign of the attack. The next day, my sister found him on the floor. He fell on his right side. Admitted in the hospital for almost a week and he was discharged. There's nothing much you can do with a stroke patient. I mean, in term of medication. Just physiotheraphy and watch their diet. Well, things happened for a reason. Silver linings are real. It could have been worse. Just hope and pray for better days and he will be back on his feet again.

Ok, the kids are up. Need to make their breakfast. I promised pancakes to Sophie last night. Happy Deepavali friends! Sophie is not going to school today because she has cough (not a public holiday in Sarawak). Till next one.

Wednesday, June 04, 2014

Got To Do It

Oh my,what have i been doing for the last 11 months? Totally neglecting this blog. Having to raise 3 kids (2 pre-schools and a toddler) on 24/7 basis really consumes my energy. The sisters go to bed by 9pm. The brother earlier than that. But he will wake up few times for feeding.

Oh ya..what i've been doing all these while. I guess nothing much. Maybe i've been addicted to instagram so much that it works as my blog too. Where i post a photo and then write quite a lengthy caption.

Brandon is 1 year old already. No fancy birthday celebration for him. Poor boy. I baked him a cake though. He started walking when he was about 11mos. Quite a petite and lightweight boy,just like the sisters.

Milan is in her 2nd semester kindy. Next year she's going to primary one. I hope she'll be doing alright. Sophie will be in kindy year 1. So, there'll be just me and Brandon in the morning. I need to find out what to do to kill the time.

I have so much more to write about but i'll find another time.

Till then.

Monday, October 07, 2013


I guess i better write something about my IUD insertion experience.

After discussing my the hubs on our family planning method,he suggested that we go for the one that has no (little if there's any) effect on my hormones. IUD it is. Something recommended by my gynae as well.

Dr Mazita told me to do the insertion as an when i get my first menses. Best is 3-4days after the menses.

When i had my first menses, i didn't get to book a slot with her.So,i waited for my 2nd one.

It was a fast procedure since we already discussed about it earlier.

There i was lying on the clinic's bed anxiously. 'Senak sikit ye puan. Kalau rasa senak, tarik nafas ye', the gynae said. To which i innocently replied, 'kira macam VE ye?'.Hahaha...very funny. And the not so happy moment started.

The metal tool with the screw was in and i gasped in terror! Freaking hurt! I am not kidding you. Dont mean to freak you out, but that was how it felt to me. I was breathing just like i breathed when i handled my contractions. I really hate that metal tool so much that i dont even bother to know what it is called.

The IUD was in and the doc did an ultrasound to show me that it is safely inside my uterus. I'll be seeing her again after my next menses just to check if the IUD is still there. There's a tendency that it might get 'expelled' from the uterus during your period. It's the body mechanism of getting rid of foreign object.

Just hope my uterus is smart enough to know that i am giving it a break for a good 3 years and keep the IUD inside. Because i dont want to go thru the insertion again,at least not too soon.

Now i know,why IUD is not so famous despite being the easiest to manage,less side effects and cheapest option.

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Whose fault?!

Wow, where have i been? Honestly i've missed blogging so much. Simply because this is my favorite place to 'merempan'.

So, where to start now.

Kids are doing great. Milan is doing her second semester for year 1 kindy. Moms do exaggerate sometimes. Somehow i made that sounds like she's attending college.Bahahaha...

Sophie talks better now.Though she is a bit 'pelat'. Sometimes, we couldn't get what she was trying to say. Which sometimes frustrates her and she started to cry while repeating whatever she was saying. And that makes it even more 'un-understandable'. Still a very shy girl. We are thinking of sending her to a playschool next year, at the age of 4. Just to boost her confidence.

Brandon is 3 months old already. How time really flies. He babbles, sucks his fingers, trying to roll on his tummy, starting to develop separation anxiety. Like his sisters, he is quite lean. He was born at 3.2kgs. Month 1: 4.2kgs, month 2: 5kgs. Our appointment for month 3 vaccination is next week.

This post is supposed to be about my breastfeeding story.

Last Friday, the daddy and the girls left to Kuching for a family event. And that day, i noticed the milk don't really flow well. I mean, i don't feel the let down. The tingling sensation. Ada la, but last only for few seconds. And i noticed Brandon is having hard time suckling. Then he gets frustrated (i guess), and he started to bite and pull the nipple. My first thought, he is teething! Checked his gums, nothing unusual. Checked the mouth for ulcer, thank God, no.

That went on for about 3 days. I tried power pumping, and i managed to get 4oz in total after 2 sessions! Something is not right, i thought.

So i took out my stock pot. Made a half pot of fenugreek tea. Ergghh...i don't like the smell for real. Have to do it anyway. I eat rice,lots of it. Drink milo, horlicks. Eat oatmeal. And still,no change.

Am i missing the girls so much that this happens? I started to look for clue as to why it happens. Brandon looks alright despite all that. Wet diapers as usual. But the boobies. It's tender and 'dry'.

I find myself talk to Brandon. Telling him the situation. Tell him to suckle efficiently and be patient.

Just as i was about to blame this online shop for telling me i might need to order a plus size for their kebaya (hence the stress.Stress and milk production don't reconcile remember?'), BAM! I went to shower on Monday morning and saw stain. First menses! After 3 months+.

Googled 'menses and milk production' right after i stepped out of the shower. I finally find something to blame. It's somehow a temporary hormonal effect. Menstruation or days before that and ovulation period do caused drop in milk production.

Now, i'm on my day 3. Milk is coming back. The 'twins' (somehow unidentical, haha) are filling up happily.

When i was breastfeeding Sophie,i had my first menses after 6months.She was a fussy baby. She nursed to sleep. So, we basically nursing all the time. Brandon is starting to sleep through the night and he takes pacifier. I guess that contribute to the earlier first menses.

So, fret not mommies. It is temporary. Matter of days. If you are full time breastfeeding like me,just nurse your baby frequently. Don't bother to pump. Just feed directly at all time.

Till then,
Which i'm not sure when
(hey,it rhymes).

Friday, June 14, 2013

One Month

Yesterday we went for Brandon's immunisation at DEMC. His pediatrician is Dr Ahmad. Nice doctor. If only i knew,i would have married a pediatrician. Senang kerja nak jaga anak. Ahaks.

My boy now weighs 4.2kgs. Comel je. I have petite kids. We asked lots of questions as if he is our firat child. Every child is an individual you see. The girls don't have rashes on their face other than on their cheeks. The girls don't throw up so much. For the throwing up, he was prescribed with a colic syrup. I didnt know there's such a syrup. Similar smell to the gripewater but according to the doc gripewater is too sweet.

Oh yeah,before that I went for my post natal checkup with Dr Mazita. All is well. Spent quite sometime in her clinic. Talking about breastfeeding and contraceptive methods.

At the moment,I am thinking if using IUD. Since the doc said this method is not going to affect the hormones and lasts for 3 years. She showed me the implanon needle and heck yeah,I almost peed in my pants. I am a chicken when it comes to needles. Big or small. And to me the implanon needle is huge!

I dont plan to take the pills anymore because there's high chances that i might miss taking one or two. And the injection is also a no-no because in most cases it causes weight gain as told by the doc. And the husband is against anything that has hormonal effect. So,I only have IUD in mind. In the early stage,the uterus might rejects the IUD and expell it out. Interesting eh. Foreign object alert! There'll be monthly trip to see the doc to check on it in case this might happen.

Hmmm..about weight loss. We'll work on that when the time is right. At the moment, all i care about is my 3 kids. Luckily my BIL comes and stays with us on the weekdays. He helps with the school runs and watch the kids when i'm doing the chores and taking showers.

I do miss my Itsy Missy. Been awhile. So many ideas but so little time. Till then.

Monday, June 10, 2013

Little Mr Brandon

Wow...i took the longest time ever to update this blog. Though not many would read it but i want to keep a journal for my kids.

Finally the little one is here. My EDD was on 14.May.2013. On my check up 2 weeks before that, Dr Mazita scheduled for an induced labor on the EDD. I was kind of 'pasrah' with induced labor already, since i had my first two induced.

On the night of 8 May i felt some contractions. But it came and gone and too far apart. I managed to sleep until about 4am when i felt the contractions becomes closer. 2-3 minutes apart. I got up and walked around our room. Woke husband up and asked him to help me to time the contractions. We have no experience with this natural contractions. So we both kind of panicking. "It's too close la baby. I think you are really in labor". I went straight to the washroom and took a quick shower. Hubs got ready and dlm kelam kabut sempat cari camera and i somehow misplaced the memory card. Lucky thing i still can handle the contraction.

Off we went to the hospital. I waited for hubs to park the car. Walked around the hospital emergency entrance. I refused to take the wheel chair and walked calmly to the labor room. Checked in, put on the hospital gown, nurse put a drip and enema (my first time too!). Wow, that enema really worked immediately. Tak menyempat2.

I was then 5-6cm dilated. was 5.30am. Somehow the contractions was bearable. In my own experience, contractions from induced labor is far too painful. I was chit chatting with hubs until the pushing stage.

Around 7am, Dr Mazita came and broke the waterbag. And then she went to attend another mother. In fact that particular morning, she had 5 mothers to attend to. I was no 4. Imagine the tension when you heard mother pushing and baby crying next door. The mother before me had somehow the shortest push. I heard she pushed and less than a minute later the baby was out. And she made the softest sound. Maybe about quarter of what i made.

Shortly after Kak Nora (the midwife) came and asked if i had any urge to push. And guess what, nada! She did VE again and told me that the baby is still quite high despite i am 9cm dilated already. And she wanted me to try to push. So i did. The baby went down and when i stopped pushing he went up again. Kak Nora then suspected the cord could be wrapped around his neck. And i wanted to cry when i heard that. Because the only solution to that is 'emergency c-sect'.

I guess the idea that induced labor is far more painful than the normal one is quite true. I was 9-10cm dilated and i still can still talking with my husband. My experience with my two girls (induced labor) were unbearable. I was crying when the contraction comes.

Back to the story. Dr Mazita came about 15 minutes later, and the pushing begins. And i am not proud to say that despite this is my 3rd baby, i still have difficulties to make the right push. Somehow, the baby's head was not in the right position. The ideal position is when the baby's head is at 12 and mine was at 9! The doc i think must have pull his head to 12 while i was pushing, did the episiotomy and then i felt the head is out. By then i was to tired to push. Seconds later my baby boy was out with the help of 'kiwi vacuum'. Poor boy had a long head but not too worry because it was just the skin.

The nurse put him on my chest and i kept on saying 'Mommy is so sorry baby'.

After the doc was done with me, we had to wait in the labor room for about half and hour because the room was not ready. Even after that half an hour i was wheeled to the normal ward and had my breakfast there. Poor hubs was too tired and sleepy. He took a nap on the sofa. About 15 minutes later we checked in to our room.

There goes my third birth story. And he is a month old already.

The birth announcement

Tahan contraction

Hi boy

Scream and shout

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

5 More Weeks.

Your uterus was entirely tucked away inside your pelvis when you conceived. Now it reaches up under your rib cage. There's more baby than amniotic fluid in your uterus now. Your ballooning uterus is crowding your other internal organs, too, which is why you probably have to pee more often and may be dealing with heartburn. If you're not grappling with these annoyances, you're one of the lucky few.

Breathlessness can be a problem at this stage in your pregnancy. Your uterus is pushing upwards into your diaphragm, the sheet of muscle that lies under your ribcage. Your diaphragm, in turn, presses on your lungs. It can be worse if you're carrying your baby high. Though you might feel a little like an engine as you huff and puff up a short flight of stairs, don't worry. This breathlessness is normal and harmless.

Most women who are pregnant for the first time find that their baby drops down into their pelvis, or engages, from about 36 weeks. This can help to ease some of the breathlessness. If your breathlessness is severe, or is accompanied by chest pain, heart palpitations or feeling faint, call your doctor or midwife immediately. Breathlessness can also be a sign that the iron levels in your blood are low (anaemia). Ask your midwife to check for this with a blood test, if it's not been done recently.

Talked to Dr Mazita on her take on induced labor the other day.I had my 2 daughter naturally but induced labor.This time,I really am hoping for a 'real' natural labor if God permits.

Dr Mazita said if by 14 May,the baby is still snuggling comfortably inside mommy,she'll need to induce me on the next day.My gynae in Miri gave me another week.But then again,the decision is mine to make she added.

So baby, Mommy is ready when you are.


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